What Would the Setbacks Do?

Email questions to advice[at]thesetbacks.com

Is there something wrong with me? (3 of 7)

June 10th, 2011

Kevin writes:

This is one part of a 7-part question from Kevin where he asks the Setbacks whether his numerous "quirks" are normal or not...

I absolutely hate and almost break down into a violent rage at the sound and smell of people eating yogurt. Especially if they smack their face when eating that shit.


Trevor
Listen KEVIN! As a non-licensed nutritionalist with no qualifications or credentials, I think it is obvious that you are not getting enough probiotics. Violent rage is a side effect of this lack. It is ironic that it is manifesting itself against yogurt, which is the best source of probiotics.

On second thought, violent rage may be a side effect of not getting enough antibiotics. Have more penecillin. Or maybe it was a lack of robiotics. Use more robots.

Wait, no, I remember now: it is from too much idiotics. You are being an idiot. Get over yourself and tolerate people eating regular foods.


Steve
Whatever way you slice it, yogurt is revolting - especially if you can slice it. That mean it's definitely gone off and you need to get away from that shit. Quickly.

That said, I'd probably say that this qualifies as a "non-normal" quirk.

And because of that I'm going to try something different today, Kevin. I'm going to give you a bit of free advice: you might want to keep this quirk to yourself. It's not that a potential life mate might find this kind of behaviour slightly unattractive, it's that the reaction you're describing in a public place will get you forcibly restrained, body-slammed, and tazered by a team of RCMP officers. If you want to co-exist with the rest of us you need to learn to suppress this yogurt intolerance.

By the way, I wrote this entire answer while relaxing in a bathtub full of yogurt.



Paul
I can sympathize with your problem but there seems to be two separate issues here. Sound and smell. Let’s review the smell aspect of this issue. Yogurt doesn’t exactly have the greatest smell but it also is not that strong. This leads me to believe that you have an acute sensitivity to yogurt based smells. This leads me to believe that dairy has harmed you some how. This leads me to believe that you were possibly violated by a cow. This leads me to a mental picture of you crying with milk sprayed all over your face. This leads me to have nightmares.

Conclusion: Stay away from rural areas.

You’re welcome.



Chris
Listen - I think this is a bit unusual, but you're not crazy. Something's souring you (heh!) off of Danone and Activia. You know how many times I've said that this year? About 100. More people than you think get grossed out or enraged by yogurt. I mean, the word "yogurt" sounds like something medical, or genital, or both.

These days, I'm all about getting to the root of a trigger. SOMETHING turned you off of yogurt. Something in your past. Maybe something in your future. I don't know.

The point is - what could have happened to you that creates this feeling of anger? I noticed that you mentioned that the "sound and smell" of someone eating yogurt makes you mental. NOT the SIGHT of someone eating yogurt. I thought about all of this, and then thought probably the best thing to do right off the bat is determine if your issue has a name. So, I did a quick search in Yahoo and came to this website:

www.urbandictionary.com

This website told me you have "Yogaphobia". This is the beginning of your search Kevin. I bid you farewell on your journey of self discovery, courtesy of the internet

It's a great site by the way. I also learned about the street acronyms for COF, COB, FOB, POF, A2M2A, A2M2F, and what a "boston cream pie" is. Trust you me, it doesn't involve Boston.




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