What Would the Setbacks Do?
Email questions to advice[at]thesetbacks.com
I Challenge Thee Setbacks...
December 12th, 2003
Todd from Ottawa writes:
Dear Setcocks,
As a former member of UNDERSTOREY, I have a question
for each of you. If I rise from the ashes of our
previous battle, how, how then, will you withstand the
searing, incinerating power of my guitar? Or the
pitch black vortex of rock vocals and scissor kicks?
I therefore challenge all of you to a guitar duel,
followed by a vocal joust. The following rules will
apply:
1.Steve must be bearded
2.Trevor is not allowed to drink
3.Chet cannot bring his level 5 wizard for support
4.If I win, Chris must beg me to rejoin my band, and
forever tattoo my name on his arse
I will challenge all of you at once, with a one man
band ensemble a la Dick Van Dyke from Mary Poppins, or
one at a time. Personally, I think you stand a better
chance against me as a group, like Voltron. But if
any of you wish to rise to the occasion individually,
I will be more than happy to oblige. This reminds me
of the movie THREE O'CLOCK HIGH, myself being mighty
CASEY SIEMASZKO and you the jock that gets his ass
beaten in the end.
Antagonizingly yours,
Todd Matsunaga
P.S. Dragon Warrior sucks!
 Trevor |
Well, well, well. Todd, our arch nemesis, has returned. I should have known you were playing in a band with this Jack Fontana fellow.
I see you have done some research while rehabilitating your broken rock bone, that the setbacks destroyed oh so many years ago at the Downstairs club, and again at Nepean Point during Slackfest II. You think you know all of our weaknesses? Guess again, Todd. Because we can only imagine what guitar prowess I can show without being fall down drunk. I don't even know my full potential. Sure, without a few 50's to lubricate my rock bone, I may get the brew shakes, but my fingers shall play so true, hitting each fret with such exactitude that time will cease to exist, causing us all to go back to our mother's wombs. I am willing to sacrifice even myself for this cause, so that the evil that is Understorey will never be reincarnated. Plus, Chris already has your name tatooed on his ass, you just have to part all the hair to see it. |
|---|---|
 Steve |
Todd: battle is futile. Your classical Spanish guitar stylings played on an electric are no match for our fat-fingered iron-box-of-rock mastery. If you believe that technical prowess and legitimate guitar skill will help you to defeat us, think again. And also think of this... you can't do a rock'n'roll totem pole by yourself.
You are at a severe disadvantage, my friend. Bow out now and retain your honour. |
 Paul |
Fear not fellow band mates. I have just rolled two consecutive 6's. This has allowed me to use my Cape of Darkness. Thus, with Trevor's Belt of Ale, Steve's Vest of Fur, and Chris's ability to Toss Salad there is nothing (excluding a level four Iron Maiden) that can defeat out Rock Powers!!
Prepare to be destroyed Todd. |
 Chris |
Todd,
I liken you to a lost Jedi, not able to realize the rock potential by becoming a jedi outcast. Sure sure....tunes like "Outcry" and "Risk 4 Insight" might have been giant rock tanks in the arena of rock music, but we will overcome your Rickenbacker. I'm warning you. Trevor...dude...before we go into combat I just wanted to say that I'm not going to judge you after I saw you walk out of that bar the other night, while you were frenching that drunk goth guy. Your business is your business. Also, the fact that you wear butless chaps on Friday nights is now more apparent to me, and I am getting your constant lyrical reference to things like "tubesteaks" and "meat lance parties" a little clearer. Do not be ashamed. I'm still you friend. |