What Would the Setbacks Do?
Email questions to advice[at]thesetbacks.com
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November 14th, 2003
Victor Santiago writes:
Dear Setbacks,
My girlfriend Monica and I have been together for about 2 years now, and she is,...or was...the greatest. Monica and I come from very distinguished backgrounds. My father is a well known local politician, and her parents are both successful businesspeople. We live with our two cats, and are engaged. We were planning to marry next year, but then we rented the film 8 MILE and our lives changed.
Monica has become obsessed with rap music. She has begun to make chicken and waffles all the time, for all three major meals a day, has bought a pink hummer, and insists on platinum chains and diamonds. I was convinced that she had hit her head for a while, because she talks in a southern style slang....saying AX instead of ASK...and ending all sentences with the words, "You know what I'm sayin..?".
I hate this.
We were supposed to have a dinner at another couples' house two weeks ago, but that was cancelled when they called me saying that Monica called them from her job in the government, saying...and I quote...
"FUCK DINNER...we should all go and grab some liquor and write rhymes on a park bench, or hit up a club."
Monica also insists on referring to her bottom as a booty, relishes wearing revealing and slutty clothing, and has begun smoking copious amounts of marijuana reefer cigarettes! I refuse to bring her around to my parent's house, because she is an embarassment. My father had no idea what was going on until Monica sprayed a graffiti tag on his Lexus.
I love her, but refuse to give up my blueblood.
 Trevor |
This is a tough one, Victor. Often in an oppressive setting, such as the "blue blood" society you and Monica have been in, personal growth can be stunted. This is because you have been sheltered all your lives, and have not had any opportunity to go through phases which all people go through. Without the influence of other cultures and ways of life, it is easy to assume that your own way of living is the best. For most people, this kind of change happens in adolescence.
For example, when I was 13, I discovered a way of life I thought would be more rewarding, and as a result spent nearly two years of my life living as a sort of caveman. Upon seeing the Flintstones, and finally really "getting" it, I moved out of my house and into a pile of rocks on a hillside. I ate nothing but brontosaurus burgers, and almost completed my foot powered car. I came around when I realized that animals would not comply with my requests for them to serve as everyday appliances such as my elephant shower, terradactal record player, and parrot doorbell. |
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 Steve |
Fo' shizzle ma nizzle! Word Vic, fo'izzall yo' ass at a gravy pace, you know what I'm sayin'? This girl Monica ain't been road tested 'n therefore has not got da green light fo' commitment, you know what I'm sayin? Bomb diggity n' shit yo' ass get yo' girl izzle nizzle, fo' mo' longterm relationships - word n' shit. Vic - you gots ta get da ball rollin'! Peace. |
 Paul |
Mr. Santiago,
Living a "thug life" isn't for the weak at heart. Sure your girlfriend may seem like she is quite the "biatch" but from your letter it seems like she has fallen into the trap that many little white boys fall in to. Just because you flaunt a bunch of bling-bling and you can say things like "fo real" with a strait face doesn't make you a pimp. I think we all learned how to deal with this situation in the movie "Malibu's Most Wanted". Obviously you should hire a couple actors to act as real thugs to scare your girlfriend strait. If that doesn't work then I suggest wearing gang colours around the house and pop a cap in her ass if she looks at you funny. |
 Chris |
Trev.
Your advice made me laugh. Vic....I am inclined to suggest renting "Trading Places" with Dan Aykroyd and Eddie Murphy. You see Jamie Lee Curtis' tats! |