What Would the Setbacks Do?

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Why can't we be (more than) friends?

October 17th, 2003

~M~ writes:

Hello,

I must warn you that in the past I have been called a little naive so this is why I now need some "real, straight up advice". I like this guy. I have been interested in him for quite awhile. We always see each other at the local music clubs (Babylon etc.). We have never been "buddies" or friends or whatever. It has always been sort of understood that we are totally attracted to each other. He is quite shy but once he gets the courage or has a few drinks (either/or), he invites me back to his place. Unfortunately, I have had to turn him down all the times he has asked me because of things that I have to do in the morning or the next day. I am now worried he thinks I am just teasing him or that I am not interested.

So my question has a few parts: What does it mean when a guy wants you to come home with him? In general, how might he interpret when I say I can't go because of other commitments in the morning? AND since I am really really ready to go back to his place now, how can I bring up the fact that I want to go back to his place without seeming like I am being too pushy or imposing on him? (I cannot have him back to my place - that is out of the question).

Trevor	Dear ~M~ I know when I invite a girl to come home with me it's for a sleepover. We'd play Contra on the nintendo, and then later make a fort out of the couch cushions and some blankets, filling ourselves with Cheesies and Minute Maid. When a girl declines my offer I feel sad and go home alone and cannot bring myself to play Contra, so I only play RPG's and cry, finding solace in my Dragon Warrior world. To get him to invite you over again, what you need to do is devise some scheme. You need to drive him to ask you over. Tell him you know a way to make a really great fort - if only there was a place you could go to show him... you see where I am going with this, and hopefully he will too! BaddaBing BaddaBoom you guys are moving furniture and drinking cans of C Plus Grape in his basement! And if he has Contra you are set, maybe you guys can play Risk.
Steve	Most guys don't care if they've been shot down in the past, as long as they get some in the end (and I don't mean in the ass). Just tell him straight up that you want to go back to his place and he'll go for it. If he doesn't, I'll eat my hat at the show on Friday... and you can take that to the bank.
Paul	I have read the question over a couple times now and I can't seem to find where the problem is. The only problem that I can see now is that you have let too much time pass and your boy-toy might have found someone new. The evidence is clear. He has already asked you a couple times to go back to his place and play "naughty nurse" or watch rock n' roll jeopardy or whatever he does to have a good time. This means that he is physically attracted to you. Unless this weiner was severely put off by you turning him down the previous times he will jump at the chance to see you naked. Long story short: There is no problem here - just ask - you won't get turned down. PS: chris, you have a problem with food.
Chris	Dear M, When I invite a woman/girl into my realm, it is for the simple reason of sex pizzas getting baked in the oven of coitus. That is the only reason to go back to someone's house at the end of a night. Your cottage cheese and his chicken wings are going to come together for a sex buffet of power and miracles. This is most commonly referred to as a booty call, late night sex, hardcore sex action with no strings attached, etc, etc...I'm sure you've heard the terms. If you continually decline his offers, then make no countering plans, I would also get the impression that you were not interested in making hardcore sex fajitas with me. If you can't make it, then propose another time period to create sexual peanut butter and jam sandwiches that might be a little more accomodating of both of your schedules. Bottom line, he wants to make Idahoan mashed potatoes out of your sex doritos. Either let him, or stop talking about it. Also, why is it out of the question to go back to your house? Are you attached? If so, then you have to call off your sexual military campaign in favour of spending some time with your husband or whatever....

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