What Would the Setbacks Do?
Email questions to advice[at]thesetbacks.com
Woes Of The Heart
December 9th, 2002
Anonymous writes:
Hey Guys,
I met this chick the other night, and thought I had totally developed some chemistry with her. As the night when on, things improved, only for me to be greeted by her boyfriend as we stumbled into her apartment for some intercourse. The boyfriend was none too impressed, especially as I was holding a Rambo style multiple sausage link of Sheiks condoms! We fought, and although I held my own in the fight, was forced to leave the situation awkwardly.
I found out after that the she was still living with him, and actually even sleeping in the same bed, so I kind of don't blame the guy for being furious.
Now, I can't help but forget the instance, but am left with great thoughts of my crush...I can't tell you enough..that she is wicked...
-Screwed Up
 Trevor |
Dear SU,
I believe I will answer this problem with some advice in the form of a haiku. This is how Anne Landers used to give out most of her advice until she was sued by Dear Abby. Of course Dear Abby doesn't own the rights to giving advice in haiku, the lawsuit was actually over an incident at the AAC convention back in '68. An unfortunate incident that resulted in Dear Abby losing most of her front teeth. For those that don't know, the AAC is the Association for Advice Columnists, which WWSD has recently become a member. It is a self governing association which sets standards for and regulates advice giving practice. It has a statutory mandate under the Advice Columnist Act to protect the public interest where advice giving is concerned. Rigorously educated, experienced and committed to a Code of Ethics that puts the public interest first, licensed advice columnists can be counted on to uphold the highest moral standards when giving advice to poor saps who rely on people they don't know to straighten out their shambled life. That being said, here is my advice, in the form of a haiku: You can't have it all That girl will just cause trouble You should forget her. |
|---|---|
 Steve |
That's quite the ordeal, Screwed Up. I think in the future you should leave the sausage links of Sheiks condoms at home on the dresser and carry around one or two at a time. Who needs a Rambo-style magazine of latex? Hugh Hefner maybe, but I doubt you're getting that kind of action. |
 Paul |
Why don't you try sending her a single Tigre Lily wrapped in a bag with a nice little note. What girls heart wouldn't melt after that.
-Paul PS: bring her to your house next time. |
 Chris |
Screwed Up,
Your situation is a really bad one. It is unfortunate that you had to physically fight about this, but if you were openly holding a multiple link of contraception that she knew about, as she ushered you into her apartment, then my call is this. Forget about her. If she's still living with her boyfriend, then that sucks too. She sounds like the kind of person that relays her insecurities and unsureness about her own intimate situation into real life, then sits back and watches the consequences as they play out like a movie....these are not good attributes in a potential girlfriend. Know what I mean? You sound doured about your love life, man. Don't fret...it'll work out. c.diddy |