What Would the Setbacks Do?
Email questions to advice[at]thesetbacks.com
Mary Joe?
April 7th, 2003
Gary from Amsterdam writes:
I have a roommate who likes to smoke mary jane cigarettes and take long
showers. This would only be a minor inconvenience, however, my roommate takes at least five showers each day!
Seeing as I pass on grass, I usually only shower once per day. My temper
will soon get me into hot water. What should I do??
 Trevor |
Gary,
This is a tough one. While taking a shower is very invigorating, especially if you use Herbal Essence shampoo and Irish Spring soap, five is a bit excessive. This will eat into your bathroom time, and if you're like me, you go to the bathroom a lot. I suggest a series of pranks designed to train your roommate to dislike the shower. Given his penchant for the good stuff, he should be easy to train. Here are some tricks to begin the training: -empty his shampoo bottle and fill it with salad dressing, maybe ranch. -place pubic hairs in the soap, use the lather to really stick them in there. -write something in the mirror that will show up when it steams (like "MURDER") -replace the stream of water with blood, cows blood can be obtained from your local slaughterhouse After these (and more if necessary) progressively worse tricks make him afraid to shower you should be fine. His paranoia will keep him out of there for good. Next week: how to get your stinky roommate to take a shower. |
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 Steve |
Aww come on Gary, if my five showers a day really bugs you that much why don't you just tell me to my face? |
 Paul |
I think I know what the problem is here. If I could quote Ron Slater; "It's quality, not quantity man." Obviously your friend is dealing with some very sub par "mary jane" cigarettes. If he had some good stuff I don't think he would even be able to make it to the shower. So my advice to you is: get him some good stuff and you won't have to worry about this anymore.
Alright. Check you later...... |
 Chris |
I recently went to a Quickie looking for the Mary Jane Brand of cigarettes. I was going to buy a pack, smoke them, and see what the big deal was about taking a shower after...but every convenience store in the city has never even heard of this brand.
You pass on grass? Like marijuana? Are you square? Everyone knows that you can't get addicted to weed. It just makes you grow your hair long, and appreciate nature, and like The Grateful Dead. Chillax dweeb. |
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