What Would the Setbacks Do?

Email questions to advice[at]thesetbacks.com

MY JOB EATS DICK

March 7th, 2003

Phoebe Margarine writes:

Hey Guys,

I'm a big fan. I hate my job.

Everyday I fiddle with the cyanide capsule around my neck and contemplate swallowing it whenever someone telephones the call center that I work at.

Is this bad? I dropped out of high school when I grade 9 and am working hard for the $4.35 hourly that I make with no benefits.

-Phoebe

Trevor	As an advice columnist my first job is to protect your safety. Please do not eat the pill. Some cyanide pills are wrapped in a plastic casing which can be toxic, and may even kill you. I would also recommend calling your local branch of the ministry of labour, as most parts of the world have minimum wage requirements well above the $4.35 you're making. In Ontario, even circus animals are required to make more than you. Here's an inspirational quote for you: "Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar." -Drew Carey
Steve	Have you ever considered selling your eggs to make a little extra money on the side? I have a friend who will pay top dollar for ovaries. You don't have to decide right now, just think about it. Call me when you figure things out.
Paul	I think you need a change. Look for another job. There is a lot out there. All you have to do is look for it. Maybe you could take some night school to learn a new skill. Another tip for you is to get rid of the cyanide capsule that hangs around your neck. That can't be a good motivator......... and I'm sure that the ladies might have a couple questions about it. Good luck.
Chris	Well...as I ponder this question, I took the time to count how many times Paul has given syrupy helpful and kind advice over the course of this W.W.S.D. experience. If someone needs advice about something really gross and tragic, you can count on Paul to say something Stuart Smalley-like such as..."Good Luck", and "It's Perfectly Normal...". Having a cyanide capsule around your neck is NOT normal, nor is working in a call center for a Central-American style wage of $4.35 hourly!! Trevor is right...I've heard of kids working in sweat shops at least getting some dental... You should also be asking yourself why the hell you dropped out in grade 9! I was no scholar in high school, believe you me, but at least I waited it out until grade 11 to get a crap-load of spares, and play Euchre and drink in the parking lot. Did you have a kid or something? MAN! Immediately call a correspondence association, or something... If you are considering killing yourself over your job, you need to find a new one....and you're in luck. Getting a basic job working at a place like Subway will pay you the legally regulated minimum wage, which is in the neighbourhood of like...$8.00 an hour. I work at the Subway at Merivale Mall. If you want, I can talk to my manager and see if we need another artist...A SANDWICH ARTIST.

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