What Would the Setbacks Do?

Email questions to advice[at]thesetbacks.com

OTTAWA BAR SCENE

February 16th, 2003

Bobby Fisher writes:

Hey Guys,

I need a girlfriend. I go to The Bulldog and On Tap all of the time. No Luck.
I go up to girls and women, and ask them if they want to hook up, but they say that I suck and then I have no confidence. I started hitting the gym. I pop my Creed cassettes in to my walkman, as I am trying to work out my abs to some killer tunes. Motivation...you know what I mean? When my abs get ripped, I'm going to try again, but in the meantime...any tips?

You guys should do a cover of "Wheat Kings" by The Hip. That song is so rocking! I slam dance to it at all times with all of my hockey buds!

Sincerely,

Bobby Fisher

Trevor	Be yourself. There is no better advice, because if you do your best to impress the ladies by doing things that you wouldn't normally do, she is going to be disappointed when she finds out you ain't all that. So just keep doing what you want to do, and be yourself, and someone will find you, and you will find someone. Then you can kiss, and go for a walk, and if the moon is full you can point it out to her.
Steve	Bobby, you need to re-invent yourself...get a new name and a new personality to go with it. From this point on you will be called Rico. Rico likes his cars fast and his women faster. Rico will fuck you up cause he's one mean fuck of a fuck. Good luck!
Paul	Well, since this question deals with women, I am probably just as confused as you but I do have some suggestions. I think women can sense desparation (similar to an animal sensing fear). This explains the confidence comments. Since I am in your same position of "needing" a girlfriend I can sympothize with you. What I think you (and I) need to do is stop thinking that we have to have a girlfriend. This will make the rejection process less painfull. Live your life. If you see a girl that looks interesting to you, talk to her. If you get rejected, it isn't the end of your life. You will meet someone eventually (at least that is what I tell myself to help me sleep at night).
Chris	I agree with Paul on this one. I'm convinced not only women though, can sense desperation. I think that guys also can sense desperation very acutely, and will find that characteristic in a potential mate, very unbecoming. You should start doing things like hanging with your buds, slamming beers, and souping your car up not to meet chicks, but to make yourself happy. Everyone, I'm convinced, is in search of a mate. Some of us take a little more time to find one, or are sold on people a little harder. Some of us don't even know what we're looking for, and when it kicks us in the ass, it's a surprise. Some of us so want to be in love and get married and all that jazz so bad....that we constantly think about it until we inadvertently develop a sidearm to our own sometimes great personalities. This sidearm represents the desperate want and desire that we often conciously or unconciously wither in to. My advice...start living and stop focusing on the one thing that none of us can truly just GET on the fly....and that's love and companionship. Also, try renting Can't Buy Me Love with Patrick Dempsey! It's the hilarious tale of a high school nerd who falls for the most popular girl at school, changes his looks, fits in, and then learns that he truly can't buy LOVE.

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