What Would the Setbacks Do?
Email questions to advice[at]thesetbacks.com
This Broad and My Wife...
January 30th, 2003
Ralphie Bubbles writes:
Dear Switchbacks,
I have a situation that needs a little advice from you guys.
My wife and I have been married for about 11 years. I have a girlfriend on the side, who has since become a bother in my life. I have been financing this girlfriend's lifestyle for too long, and her usefulness has run it's course. She has become upset about this, and has since begun to call my wife and create an unfortunate situation at all times of the day. This is creating a very difficult sitaution in my household. For instance, the other day, she went to my son's school, and tried telling my son that she was his real mother.
Do you see the kind of shit that I gotta deal with? This is a bunch of bullshit.
I am afraid that I'm going to end up on those crazy shows like BUSTED or CHEATERS. If that happens, I'm going to kill this broad.
Thanks Razorbacks. I love your band a lot.
Sincerely,
Ralphie "Bubbles" Delavecchia
 Trevor |
Bubbles,
I think this situation may be a bit beyond the Setbacks' meager advice column. While we are always willing to sound off on any subject, particularly ones we know nothing about, this time I'm going to have to pass you on to a professional. Someone who handles situations like this with grace and a great sense of responsibility - Jerry Springer. Your situation sounds perfect for his show. I would recommend a good canadian show that may be easier for you to get to, but they cancelled the Camilla Scott show many years ago. |
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 Steve |
Hey Ralph, thanks for the question. Have you seen Lord of the Rings II yet? I saw it three times over the holidays and man do I love it! It's about a hobbit named Frodo Baggins. |
 Paul |
In most cases I find "honesty is the best policy" but given the conditions I think that "lieing through your teeth" might work out better. This is what I suggest: blame the internet.
What you have to do is say that one of your friends (not a close friend) used your name and picture in a "chat room". You say that he met your girlfriend online and now she thinks that you are him. This scenario has worked on many sitcoms and afterschool specials. I usually miss seeing the end of these shows but I'm sure that nothing backfires. If this doesn't work I'm sure that you can have her killed by one of your drywall or construction buddies. Good luck. |
 Chris |
I've been criticized for being too nice in my advice, so I'm changing to a straight version of Dan Savage.
Hey Buddy, It's THE SETBACKS. As for your stupid situation.... Well, let's see. None of us can relate to what you're going thru, because none of us obvioulsy work in the underworld. Also, only one of us is in a relationship, and can't make a comment on a long standing infidelity driven side project. Your wife sounds like a big dumb tomatoe for not knowing any better, especially considering that you sound like you're Rocky's mental stunt double. Here's a hint you retarded breadstick! Murder is WRONG! Cheating on your wife is WRONG! What is this, 1935? Since when is calling women "broads" back in? Stop living your life like you're James Cagney for five minutes, and realize that your first problem lies in the way that you view the world. You sound like a big dysfunctional gangster. Maybe you should see Dr.Melfi, and divulge your troubles... You friggin' Moron. -chris |