What Would the Setbacks Do?
Email questions to advice[at]thesetbacks.com
Chicks
January 26th, 2003
Seamus Mcfadden writes:
Hey guys. What's up?
My girlfriend and I love each other very much, and we've been together for eight years. I'm 35 and she's 27. There's a little bit of an age difference. I'm older, and enjoy my freedom, and whatever....but she wants to get married in a large way. We've been fighting a lot over this, especially at around Christmas time. She said that she expected a diamond ring for Christmas, and all I got her was Shaquille O'Neal's DVD box set. She looked dissapointed, but verbally expressed her disgust when we were watching Kazam!! on DVD. When it was over, and I tried to pop in STEEL, she knocked the box out of my hand, and wept saying that she's wasted her life with me....and that she wanted to settle down.
Have you ever tried consoling someone who's mad at you for not wanting to marry you? After you give me some advice, which I need big time, do tell with some nightmare girlfriend stories...
P.S. I'm torn, I love her, but I also love partying at Barrymore's for 80's Sundays, and I know marriage will obliterate that function out of my life, as well as watching any more Shaquille O'Neal movies!FUCK!
-Seamus
 Trevor |
Dude,
I watched Bridezillas last night and I'm fearing for you. I couldn't sleep thinking 'what if Seamus has landed himself one of these obsessive brides?'. So I offer this advice: don't get married just to get married. But don't not get married just because you think it will change everything. But if you don't not get married, then don't think things won't not change. It's not like the ceremony is the end of your life. Things in your relationship shouldn't not stay the same after the wedding, they should! Hopefully that will clear up some of the confusion. NIGHTMARE GIRLFRIEND STORY: I had a crush on this girl, but the bad part was that she was my best friend's older sister. So we'd be playing football at the park and she'd come along and I'd be the punter, and she'd offer to hold the ball. But everytime I went to kick the ball she would pull it away. I often sustained concussions. Come to think of it that whole family was crazy. My friend carried his blanket with him everywhere, and their parent's spoke like muted trumpets. |
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 Steve |
Guys...this charade has gone on too long...I'm Seamus. |
 Paul |
First of all let me compliment you on your movie selection. I'm a huge Shaquille fan. I really felt that he was limited, as an actor, in Kazam but I think he really won people over with he brilliant performance in Steel. The way he portrayed a simple man wanting to make a difference was breathtaking. But enough about Shaquille. Lets get on to your problem.
I have heard this dilema time after time and I have the same response. Why do you think marriage will "change everything"? I'm sure after 8 years that you do all the same things a married couple would do. The only difference is that you don't have a piece of paper to say it is official. I think you should make a decision about where you life is going. Does it involve your girlfriend? If it does then talk to your girlfriend and tell her that you are afraid that things will change and you will lose your freedom. I'm sure that if you love each other enough that you will understand each others needs to go blow off some steam at 80's night. On the other hand, if you don't see her in your future, break things off. You are wasting both yours and her time. Hope that helps. NIGHTMARE GIRLFRIEND STORY: Since I wrote so much before I'll make this short. Dating a neat freak. Everything was spotless and had its own exaxt spot to be. I mean who organizes their clothes alphabetically!? Too much to handle..... |
 Chris |
MAN! Shaquille O'Neal is awesome!
Best scene in a movie: When we dons the newly blacksmithed steel mask in STEEL before engaging some kriminalz! On another note...your girlfriend has kind of a good reason for being upset. If you've been together for 8 years, and she's dropping hints like that, I'm assuming that it's not the first time. You also sound like you're not ready to get married, and have probably been kind of oblivious to catching onto her signals. My advice is this...Discuss your future, and realize what is best for both of you. If you have no intention of hooking up ever, then she best be clear on that in a big way. Never stay in a relationship if it's not developing according to your needs....plus y'all been together for 8 years! Like DUDE! NIGHTMARE GIRLFRIEND STORY: Dating a schizophrenic. We were really cool for six months, then she started doing stuff like talking to transistor radios, shouting in supermarkets and at movies, and playing/building with LEGO all of the time. After confronting her about these sudden new behavioural traits, she said that I was a secret agent, and that she refused to tell me anything about her real boyfriend. When she met my parents, she punched my dad in the face, and tried to harvest my dog's paws for what she called, "Communion". I shudder as I write.... -chris |
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Anyone want an autograph? |