What Would the Setbacks Do?
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I Might Lose My Kid
February 10th, 2007
Phillipe Orezscu writes:
I have a serious problem, and I hope you can help me. I have a son who is 13 years old, his mother died 3 years ago, and as a result I am raising him solo (I hate the term 'widower' by the way). We used to be best friends, but recently he's been really pushing my buttons. I mean really really getting under my skin.
It all came to a head the other day when he was leaving the house with his new denim slacks, and his belt was cinched so low that I could see daylight poking through above his belt, but between his legs (ie below his undropped testicles). Bottom line (no pun intended) his jean are about 4 inches above his knees, which I feel to be an unacceptable way to go out in public.
My problem is this: I really gave him what-for on his way out the door. Totally losing my cool. I guess this time it was a bit much because a little while later a lady from Children's Aid showed up with a few questions. I could see her thong underwear above her low rise jeans, and pretty soon we were gettin' mad rutty.
Do you think this creates any conflict of interest, and also what are my chances of getting my kid back?
 Trevor |
Listen OREZSCU! Styles change and it is impossible to keep up with these trends as you get older. What may seem ridiculous to you and I is likely the only acceptable way for a younger human to dress. Your best bet is to accept that fact, but don't try to dress that way yourself. There is nothing worse than an aging hipster struggling to keep relevant.
Anyway, about getting the kid back, you'll need to play to your strengths. If macking ladies is what you do, you should be able to parlay that into getting your kid back. Lay the right people the right way and he'll be back driving you mad with fashion trends in no time. Don't forget to wear a condom while sleeping your way through Children's Aid. |
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 Steve |
Phillipe,
I don't have many children of my own, but as several of the Setbacks will tell you I am generally respected as being somewhat of an expert when it comes to child rearing. In fact, some of my avant-garde techniques have been published in some highly respected medical journals. I did a thought piece last month entitled "Negative Reinforcement: Pool-Noodle Style". You should check it out. Now, on the subject of your predicament... it immediately strikes me that what your parenting toolbox is missing is pool noodles. Now, I'm not talking about the fresh and flexible colourful ones... no, no my friend... I'm talking about the weathered and brittle ones that have been left outside over the winter. You know, until they're really porous and cracking apart like Michael Jackson's face. When they can barely float that's when you know they're ripe for some disciplinin'! A couple smacks daily across the face will re-establish you as the alpha male and shut him up pronto. Aces! |
 Paul |
Awaiting wisdom... |
 Chris |
Phil,
Are you saying that you were giving your son shit for the same thing that you ended up getting engorged in the nether regions about? I am getting the impression that you find your son sexually attractive. If this is the case, then the Children's Aid visit was warranted. High five on getting it on with a social worker. That's a notch in the belt you want people to know about. |