What Would the Setbacks Do?
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3 Cups Will Do You Well...
January 19th, 2007
Chuck Tchobanian writes:
Hello,
First time writer here.
My question may seem a bit odd, and perhaps taken in bad taste, but I feel it neccessary to get some outside advice. I was reading about you guys in The Ottawa Citizen yesterday, and realized maybe you could field this...
Ok. Here goes.
I am 43, have been single forever, and have been desiring a romantic relationship for quite some time. It seems I've never really found that "right one", although I've dated heavily. My friends tell me I am overly picky, but I don't think that's it. You see, I was set up on a blind date last weekend with a wonderful lady, and not only did we hit it off, I became absolutely certain over a fine meal at Montana's that I had found my significant other. I must emphasize my certainty about this. Something heavenly came over me, and I was made aware that this was the woman I was to marry. One little problem though...
Cindy has 3 breasts. She is naturally a well endowed woman, even if she only had two breasts, with a whopping 42DDD cup size, but the fact that she has three makes not noticing almost impossible. It often looks as though she just has a chest full of other people's tits. Comparable to a stack of cantaloupes at Loeb.
What do I do? The social outcast factor is weighing heavily on my decision to continue this. I had asked her to go to your show tommorow night, but I am rethinking this due to the comments and reactions at our dinner last week. The Dominion is a bit of a different crowd, and I have no doubt we might run into some trouble.
BTW, I haven't slept with her yet. My friends say my concerns might be "e-titilated" when I get her custom bra off and juggle the pups,....but there you go, that's a perfect example of what I'm talking about. My friends used the word "e-titilated" instead of "eliminated". Am I forsaken to deal with the constant comments?
Thoughts?
 Trevor |
Listen TCHOBANIAN! You are taking a very selfish approach to your situation. Can't you see this third breast is hard on her too? She is likely still single because she has yet to find someone who can get past the Tripeaks to see the real her. You have clearly done so, but are concerned with comments you might get?
Not to mention the fact that you are on the cusp of a fantasy many people have had since seeing Total Recall. You need to get in there and just go nuts with the motor boats and such. By the way, I definitely did not see you two at the show. Too bad. |
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 Steve |
I think your breast bet is to just be honest with her. If you really think you could marry this woman, try to look past the ample bosom and think about all the wonderful mammaries the two of you will share during your life long journey together. If you jugs focus on the positive side of things, I think you'll realize that tits not that big a deal. If your friends are actually the sweater cows they honker they are, than I brassiere you'll have nothing but good boobs to rack about. |
 Paul |
Your friends are just jealous. You have hit the motherload. If she can bake cookies, you have found the perfect woman. She is literally a woman and a half. Take this one nice and slow. You do not want to blow this opportunity.
When a dude says that "more than a handfull goes to waste" it probably means his girlfriend has no boobs. Trust me. Boobs are never a waste. No inhibitions. |
 Chris |
To be honest with you Tchobanian, this is a problem that I think YOU only seem to think YOU have. This is in reality, a miracle. You are the luckiest guy alive. I hav a friend, Flex...he has a girlfriend who actually used to be a man. He says when they have sex, it feels normal, because the doctors surgeried "her" up in an incredible way, but he has to swallow the small amount of vomit he coughs up everytime he buries it in the fake cave. Apparently he deals with this because he's convinced he'll be single forever...anyways...my point is...he has a problem. You don't. Don't be so shallow. If she's nice in the face, then it all falls into place, and if she's got an extra squeezepak, then you have more to juggle. Man, I'm having a hard time finding the problem here.
Speedbag her boobs, and I think you'll realize it ain't that bad. |