What Would the Setbacks Do?

Email questions to advice[at]thesetbacks.com

Just Wondering

March 7th, 2006

Lee Capital writes:

This isn't an advice question so much as me being curious. If you guys could change one thing about yourselves, what would you change (and why)?

Also, what were those things in 'Gremlins' called?

Trevor	Listen CAPITAL! If I could change one thing about myself, I would choose to become less humble. I'm so fucking humble, baby lambs look like showoffs around me (note: lambs are known in the wild kingdom as being the humblest animal). I make Eeyore seem like the king of the braggarts. If compliments were snow, and I was a snowman, you could pack snow onto me all day long, and I would not get any bigger. I'm so humble, when I say I'm sitting around the house, I'm sitting around the house. I'm so humble, you could stick a piece of coal up my ass, and in two weeks you'd have a diamond. So humble.
Steve	Fantastic question. I think about this a lot, so your question offers a great opportunity for me to share my feelings. Here's what I would change about each member of the Setbacks: Trevor - he's a nice guy and a pretty good guitarist, but he's completely unable to predict the future. That's always disappointed me. Paul (Chet) - rock solid on bass and always hauls our band gear around, but one thing he CAN'T do... is breathe underwater. Chris - likes to post to his blog and works hard at his job, but only has 2 kidneys. I really think he should have another. Gremlins? Never saw it. I did, however, have the 7" READ LISTEN LEARN record.
Paul	I wish I was quicker on writing these damn advice questions.
Chris	Lee, Can I be honest? If I were to change one thing about myself, I would immediately vote to reverse my circumcision. I hate it. I've been wrestling with this dilemma as my wife and I anticipate the birth of our son, and I don't want to leave him stricken with the same issue. This has been a long standing insecurity of mine. I have this reoccuring dream about being an adult as the doctor is performing the procedure on me. Let me set the stage: Hot. Lights. Surgeons. Masks. Gurney. I am a man. Adult, but am an infant. The doctor moves in with the scalpel. Every shred of my being erupts with resistance, as I stare the scalpel cold, and shoot the doctor darts from eyes, almost as if to say, don't dare, don't approach. The doctor approaches, laughing. I channel my inner spirit, the true authentic me, and rise above the medical gear. I kick the doctor in the face. I let out a Michael Jackson scream, like when he blows out windows while standing on top of cars during his dance routines. The surgery room explodes. I fly away. Fin. Mogwai are gremlins before you feed them after midnight.

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