What Would the Setbacks Do?

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Ancient Timez

January 31st, 2006

Clark Chives writes:

Yo yo Setbaxxx
Do you guys ever wonder what it would be like to live in the 1700s? I mean, seriously guys. I often daydream about it. Peace out.

Trevor	Listen CHIVES! You need to think long and hard before you even consider time travel. There are very serious repercussions involved. And I don’t mean the tired old Back to the Future situation where you accidentally sleep with your great grandmother, thereby becoming your own great grandfather, I mean more logistical consequences. For example, let’s say you put together a time machine in your basement and set the dial for the year 1700. You step in and go, but when you arrive in the year 1700, you are actually fused with the earth! Why? Because your basement did not exist then! It has been mathematically proven that the geographical point of departure is equal to the geographical point of arrival, regardless of time. So how do you get around this? It’s hard. You need to be able to know that where you arrive will be a free and clear space on the same ground that has existed for a long time. This is just one of the things you need to consider. I suggest you come to one of my time travel classes. Arturo Brisindi and I are teaching masters courses down at the Ottawa Community Night College – Chinatown Campus.
Steve	"Marty - you're not thinking fourth dimensionally!" - Doc Brown I just thought I'd preface this answer with one of my personal time travel mantras. Sure Clark, we'd all like to travel through time. I'm not sure why you're so keen on the 1700s, but whatever. I think it's important for you to understand the full realm of possibilites that await you as a time traveler. I'm glad that somebody has finally brought this fascinating subject to our advice column. Think about time belts. Just think about that for a second. Imagine - a fashionable belt that would allow you to speed up or slow down time around you (to the point where it started to go backwards). As the owner of the time belt, you would be impervious to the effects of time. But this concept raises some interesting questions. For instance, would the belt also protect your clothes from the effects of time travel? Or would they move through time independent of your body? What if you accidentally went back to a time before you owned the belt? Would it become caught in some terrestrial wormhole, leaving you permanently stuck in time? These are not easy questions to answer, and should not be taken lightly when considering the ramifications of time travel or the purchasing of belts (of the time variety or otherwise).
Paul	The thing that I would miss the most would be the internal combustion engine. First of all, getting to shows would take a much longer time having to use a horse and buggy. I'm sure that Chris would somehow still come up with an excuse that he has to pick someone up at the airport to get out of helping out. We would tell him that flight hadn't been invented yet but he would probably just yell at us calling us "cakes" who wouldn't understand. But you know what, I probably would understand. Peace out.
Chris	Yes Clark, I often do think about what it would be like to live in the 1700's. This happened to me right after I saw that Mel Gibson movie, "The Patriot". I enjoyed it so much, that I bought a horse, and started wearing Napoleon clothes. When people laughed at me, I called them "peasants", and whipped them. Eventually however, what I called my "1700's 'tude" fell on being obnoxious as some of my friends claimed. Particularly my band mates. Apparently, some people in this band don't like being referred to as peasants, and furthermore, don't like it when I smack them in the face with my gloves, challenge them to duels with revolvers, and insist on wearing my gentlemen's attire when we play shows.

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