What Would the Setbacks Do?
Email questions to advice[at]thesetbacks.com
Co-op Student from Hell
January 18th, 2006
Chrissy Sprinkles writes:
Hey guys... I'm in a real bind here. Hope you can help!
A new guy started at our office last week. He's a co-op student so he's basically the office bitch. We've all been secretly killing ourselves laughing as he eagerly completes utterly humiliating tasks like getting us coffee, delivering the mail, picking up our drycleaning and waxing our backs. We rationalize our evil behaviour by assuring ourselves that it's all in good fun and that we'll take him out for a steak dinner when his placement is over.
Lately though, his enthusiasm has taken a serious dip and he's become downright surly. For example, this morning as I was spitting my scalding hot chai latte in his face for not cooling it off before serving to me, he made some remark about it hurting or something. I was incensed that he spoke to me without being commanded to do so and proceeded to tear him a new bunghole. After I finished, he had the nerve to pull out a knife and swipe it at my face! Fearing for my life, I immediately called security as he ran into my colleague's office and barracaded himself inside with her held hostage.
We're into the third hour of negotiations as I write this and he's threatening to cut her throat if we don't start showing him a little more respect. Even though he's clearly a disturbed individual, I can't help but feel partially responsible for the situation and that if my colleague perishes her blood will be on my hands (in a way).
Any suggestions on how I should handle this situation?
 Trevor |
Listen SPRINKLES! We had a similar situation at the corporate offices of the setbacks. For the longest time, we were all treating Chris in a similar manner: making him get coffee, teasing him, slashing his tires, etc. All the usual office bitch type stuff.
Anyway, it all came to a head one day last spring. I was in Chet's office reviewing some of the profit projections for the summer, when Steve came running in. He locked the door behind him and breathlessly explained his situation. It turns out he had flushed Chris' keys down the toilet because of a botched contract Chris had put together for a new drum stick supplier (we took a killing on that). Chris flipped out because it was his Dad's van and he would need those keys to get home. Steve kicked him and he fell unconscious on the bathroom floor. Steve panicked and tried to stuff him in the janitor’s closet. I guess Chris woke up at this time, and struck out at Steve with a mop and bucket. Steve squirted him in the eye with some PineSol and locked him in the closet. It was an ugly incident that required the Setbacks to go through a lot of psycho therapy. It turns out people, no matter how useless, need some respect. We learned to be a band that helps each other out, not put each other down. Your office could use a serious dose of this. |
|---|---|
 Steve |
Awaiting wisdom... |
 Paul |
Awaiting wisdom... |
 Chris |
Awaiting wisdom...badda bing badda boom |