What Would the Setbacks Do?
Email questions to advice[at]thesetbacks.com
Fast Food Thoughts
December 13th, 2005
Steve Xenonasis writes:
Hi Guys,
I created a database of Ottawa restaurants, and am currently em"broiled" in a serious conversation/argument with some people who happen to think that the Burger King on Baseline and Maitland is crappy. The forum can be found here.
What do you guys think? I think that the Burger King makes delicious burgers, and their onion rings are tops. I know for a fact that they use excellent grease, and minimize the level of carbonization that they put into their drinks. These guys are serious about quality. Anyways, long story short, I champion Burger King, and I am contemplating killing some of the people in this forum. The world is full of injustices, and I don't think that people need to jump onto one of the last "real" monarchies of God's green earth. I truly feel that the Burger King is the only real king in today's crazy and chaotic world. He is providing food to those who want it, and he asks for nothing in return. I'm like, give the guy a break. He's an innocent king of nutrition.
I'm really frustrated, as I am sure you can tell. What do I do? I don't want to do something unreasonable to these infidels, and could use some advice to talk me out of a rash action. It's just my admiration for the Burger King is so big, that I get peeved very easily.
Hit me back.
 Trevor |
Listen XENONASIS! Fast food is not cool. These days, people are way more into cooking their own food. But only in situations where famous cooks berate them while they do it. Or maybe in a restaurant while trying to defeat other cooks with their culinary tricks. That's what people are into these days.
Despite that fact, you obviously have some sort of attachment to BK. While that is honourable, I would suggest not killing people because they've insulted your personal tastes on a public website. Anne Landers suggests that the minimum requirement for killing people is after a public humiliation. Trying to kill everyone who insults you on the internet is like to following celebrity divorces. It's a thankless, unending task filled with unneeded bloodshed. |
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 Steve |
Look man.
The Setbacks are a band united by the desire to remove an undemocratic and unjust head of state - Burger King. We hope that one day, Canada may become a free and democratic society like its American neighbours. Despite claims by the burger royalists, the Burger King family wields a remarkable amount of political power. In desperate attempts to hold on to their privileges they abuse the court system to silence dissent and issue injunctions against those who would seek to publish their embarrassing secrets (such as, for example, that the Burger King isn't actually a king at all). We are witnessing the last few years of the Burger Monarchy. As a band, the Setbacks are relishing in the slow decay of this unfit ruler's dying legacy. Vive la Quiznos! |
 Paul |
Awaiting wisdom... |
 Chris |
Due to the fact that the last time I ridiculed a man for defending a fast food giant, I was required to seek out a restraining order, I am hesitant to give my opinion on this, hottest of topics. My father is still not talking to me, but I am assuming, he is enjoying many Triple Bacon Classics from Wendy's. The day that he believes that Wendy, although modelled after Dave Thomas' (R.I.P.) daughter, is in fact an idol, an effigy if you will, of the corproate fast food giant culture, that could be the day that we reunite like father and son, as if I stepped off of the space shuttle, after many long months in space collecting samples to save the earth from environmental decay, from a comet that I landed on, and he was waiting for me on the tarmac, like a great Dad, with a blanket, uttering the words..."I love you, Son. Thank you for saving the Earth". Anyways, my space story is neither here nor there, but what I believe is your blatant disregard for nutritioin is very much present. Do you realize that 50 million Americans are obese, and apparently 35,600 Canadians share this health issue. Stop arguing the finer points of fast food cuisine, and realize that that stuff kills you. Enough with the tomfoolery, and get serious about the one friend of yours, that has been with you for your entire life, yet you often forget is around. This friend is so precious that no matter how rich you may be, or how downtrodden you may find yourself, he is still around. That friend sir, is your heart. I don't mean your figurative one, related to emotions, I mean your literal heart organ, pumping the liquid of life (blood) through your veins, and enabling you to live.
Bottom Line: Have a salad and get reacquainted with Tom Tickerson. That is my pet name for my heart. |