What Would the Setbacks Do?
Email questions to advice[at]thesetbacks.com
svp m'aident avec mes difficultés femelles !
October 13th, 2005
Anonymous writes:
bonjour des setbacks, je suis reconnaissant communiquer avec vous sur votre site Web et pour espérer que vous faites bien. j'ai un problème sérieux que j'espère que vous pouvez m'aider avec. c'a été beaucoup d'années puisque j'ai été avec une femme et j'ai une date avec une gentille fille que je travaille avec demain soir. on m'inquiète qui parce que je suis si rouillé dans le sac elle rira de moi. veuillez offrir le conseil de sorte que je puisse lui offrir le plaisir final que je sais que je suis capable de.
 Trevor |
Listen ANONYMOUS, I can tell a bogus french question when I see one, and this is it. I can understand your shame. I too would want to do all that I could to conceal my identity when asking a question as embarrassing as this. Don't worry though, I will still help you out, despite calling you out like this.
There's nothing worse than a bad case of rusted root, and obviously it's too late to suggest a preventative self-maintenance program so I'll tell you this much: First off, the worst thing to do is assume you'll be getting your stink on with this lady on the first date. Doing so only makes a person do things that he wouldn't normally do, because he is assuming he's going to "get all up in that" later in the night. The second thing to do is put on some Old Spice. Ladies love that. Guaranteed deal sealer. Some call Old Spice relationship caulk. There's a joke to be made there, but I'll let you fill it in yourself. Bottom line: Old Spice (or Epice Vieux to play along with your fake french question). |
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 Steve |
I'm reading something between the Quebecoise lines of this question... V-I-R-G-I-N. Clear as day. You've never puckered the seams on the old curtains and you're looking to your buddies in the Setbacks to help you out. Not a problem. As you'd notice if you ever met us face to face we all wear wedding bands. In addition to representing sacred vows and the life long commitments we've made to our wives, essentially these rings are proof that we've all stitched the drapes at least once in our lives (in the case of Chris and Trevor I believe they've done it twice). What does all this mean to you? Not much probably - just that I'm qualified to answer your question.
Ok, back to your dilemma... first off, good move arranging a date with a co-worker. Office romances rarely fail and when they do there's never any weirdness between the parties involved. Your best bet to getting this girl in the sack is to spring a flies eyes on her when she least expects it. The key to a successful "flies eyes" is the element of surprise. If successfully executed, she'll be sliding the drapes onto the curtain rod in no time! |
 Paul |
Awaiting wisdom... |
 Chris |
I don't understand French, and was too lazy to babblefish this questions. I assume that it is related to your apparent lack of vagina, and as such, you are wondering, I think, whether The Setbacks have any advice or suggestions on how to nail the privates of your ladyfriend.
Assuming that this is in fact what you're looking at getting advice on, I have some suggestions for you. 1. Braid your hair like Sean Paul. Women love this. You couple this with being a jerk, and you are guaranteed to get some zoom zoom in the boom boom. The whole mysterious rap/r&b guy thing is irresistible to women. To be honest with you, I don't have any evidence of this. This fact of mine is based on a drunken night two years ago, and let's just say I woke up in the back of a souped up Civic, with Sean Paul on the radio, my pants around my ankles, and condoms everywhere. I remember the dude talking like Sean Paul...and I was just like OMFG!....that patois is so I don't know...anyways...give it a try. 2. Learn to dance. Men who can dance, no matter what they look like, always score, and score hard. Have you ever seen the Men Without Hats video? You see the ass in that vid? Case closed. They can dance, and no doubt, they were dancing on some of that. Further evidence of this was provided to me by a recent trip to Tropix Dance Bar. All of these dudes with the Brett "The Hitman" Hart hairstyle were ripping it up, whipping their wet hair around, and macking pure ladies. 3. Use a british accent. SEAL uses one, and he has Heidi Klum. He also sounds like a thousand angels. That man has an angelic voice. I have no doubt that he's looking down sometimes when doing his wife, and starts belting out "Kiss From A Rose", knowing that it will only increase the desire of his beautiful lady. Anyone's a sucker for a good voice and british accent. Me included. |
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