What Would the Setbacks Do?
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Ah nuts!
June 14th, 2005
Michael Kincaid writes:
Me and my younger brother have never gotten along very well. While I am mostly into sports and girls, he's always been the smart one and spends a lot of his time studying, usually alone. In fact, one of his favourite pasttimes is reading up on the black arts... dark magic and the like. I thought this was pretty retarded so I smashed his crystal ball on our driveway. He got really pissed off and conjured a castration spell to teach me a lesson. Now I have two pits where my boys used to reside.
My question is this: should I try to learn magic and cast a reverse spell that returns my nuts to their natural home, or should I assume they're lost in the netherworld and move on with my life?
~mike
 Trevor |
Listen KINCAID! I think you are going to have to learn to live without your sac-a-doodles from now on. Magic is obviously not your forte.
However, revenge is what you should be seeking. But you should not get into a magic battle with him, since that is clearly where he has the upper hand. You need to draw him into your arena, get a little home field advantage. I suggest making him play goalie in road hockey. Then when he's not looking, switch the tennis ball up with a cue ball from a pool table. Fire one at his bits and pieces and enjoy sweet revenge. Keep in mind this will mean the end of the line for the Kincaid family. |
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 Steve |
Dude, you better be heading for platform 9 ¾ and quick. Enroll in Hogwarts immediately. Make sure you sign up for Professor Snape's potions, spells and genitals course. This will give you the required knowledge to reverse the spell and restore your little gentlemen to their original home between your legs. If you're lucky you'll run into Harry Potter and be able to give us a sneak peek into the wacky adventures J.K. Rowling has in store in future volumes of the series. |
 Paul |
Dude, you need to get your boys back.
This is a perfect opportunity for some brotherly bonding. I think you should offer to show him sports and get him girls in return for your dingleberries. This could be great. Take him to a baseball game with a couple fine ladies and you will have your balls back in no time. You can maybe even ask him to make your weiner bigger. |
 Chris |
EW and Ew.
Consult a doctor, or a wizard, and get the boys back. |