What Would the Setbacks Do?

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I Invaded A Friend's Email Privacy

May 1st, 2005

Anonymous writes:

I did something awful - I invaded a friend's privacy! I saw his password posted by the computer, and I came home and checked his email!!!! I didn't see anything important, some ads and boring junk mail but I feel sooooo bad now! Will he get the messages that I read? Or will they disappear? Should I tell him? or just pray for forgiveness and never do it again? Help!!


Trevor		 That is a major asshole move.

I just changed my email password in case you planted a computer program into your advice that finds passwords. I do not want you reading my email. Just to be sure, I also have been shredding all snail mail that comes to me as well. I also lined the attic of my house with tinfoil to prevent your computer hackery from penetrating my brain. I am attempting to think of things other than you, Anonymous, sitting somewhere out there just totally reading my mind. I think about things which hopefully do not interest you, so as to make you take your mind reading tricks elsewhere. The amount of mental focus required to do this is very taxing. Fatigue sets in and I have no choice but to submerge myself in a bathtub of pea soup knowing you cannot see through it. You cannot read my mind as I dunk my head under the pea soup, and I am free to think of naked ladies and murdering kittens like normal people.



Steve		 Don't feel bad, I often read my friends' email. It keeps them honest (without them knowing) and it allows me to foil any surprise birthday party plans that might be brewing. If you're like me, and you're highly suspicious of all your friends, send an email from his account to another one of your friends asking what that person thinks of you. This will give you excellent insight into whether your friends really like you or they're just pricks who only come over to play your X-Box and eat your mom's Steakums... assholes.

Paul		 What is "privacy"? Over the past decade we have slowly lost more and more privacy. I think that celebrities are to blame. It has all started with the rich and famous. If they didn't live such juicy, scandal filled, drug infused lifestyles then I wouldn't been so drawn to read as much about them for the sole reason to judge them. Heck, if Pat O'Brian can get away with doing drugs and sleeping with prostitutes, I don't feel bad having a beer and reading Playboy. I'm glad that there are respectable news sources such as US Weekly that I can turn to to fill my insatiable curiosity.

Chris		 You should be asking yourself why you checked your friend's email. Do you not trust your friend? Do you think that your friend is a criminal? Perhaps a war criminal? Perhaps an ex Nazi war criminal who escaped justice and successfully sought haven and refuge in North America after the Nazi empire crumbled beneath the weight of the allied forces? If this is in fact what you suspect, and that is essentially what I'm getting from this, then I would suggest not reading anymore of this person's email. You should be contacting the authorities, and explaining your theory. I did this once, and although I was caught unable to in fact prove my theory, Interpol remained suspicious about my father for weeks.
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