What Would the Setbacks Do?
Email questions to advice[at]thesetbacks.com
help please...
February 26th, 2005
Ponderosa Pete writes:
Dearest Setbacks:
For many years I have been working dilligently at my job, as a fry cook at the Ponderosa in Massena, and have finally saved enough to buy myself a car - goodbye buspass! I am positive that the only reason I am not gettnig laid is that I am without a ride - so my question to you is, can you recommend a guranteed "panty peeler" set of wheels?
Thanks,
 Trevor |
Listen PETE! You can't expect a woman to fall for you because of your car. First, take a shower and get that stench of meat off of you. You likely don't even notice that you have permasteak smell in all your clothes, hair, skin and teeth. Women don't like that. The smell is so strong even your email smelled a little bit like red meat.
In terms of what kind of wheels to buy, a good used Ford Festiva will never let you down, and it tells the world "I am practical and like to party, like a fiesta". Maybe if you can afford it get an eagle, a wolf, and the moon airbrushed on the hood. Also: never buy a corvette, that just means you have a small penis. |
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 Steve |
Dearest Pete,
Congratulations on saving up some money for a new ride. History and ZZ Top videos tell us that the key to hooking up with hot chicks is a set of smokin' wheels. No girl can resist the smell of burnt rubber... or the smell when tires spin on asphalt. That's good too. If you want to decimate some panties, your best bet is to pick up a formula one racer. They travel at speeds close to 300 mph, which is probably faster than any other car you can buy. The downside is that there is zero backseat room for gettin' nasty with the females. A better compromise of performance and roominess might be a hearse. On the topic of wheels - I recently saw a dude busting around in a Jeep Cherokee that was COVERED in some company's logo (I presume the company this guy worked for). I'm not really sure what to make of it - like, what is this guy saying? I'll go off-road to close the deal with you? Normal highways and roads do not limit my ability to serve customers? |
 Paul |
Awaiting wisdom... |
 Chris |
Pete,
Our rock star lifestyles have permitted us to own some of the finest and most luxurious vehicles ever created by men. I've had my share of Hummers, Ferraris, Lamborghinis, and Dodge Dusters, but my whip of choice right now is a 2005 Bentley convertible. I used the advance money that we got from Sorority Song Records for this purchase, for the delivery of our last scintillating record, "One Track Mind". For you? I would suggest Trevor's outta sight whip. A 2002 Ford Focus wagon. You really want to evaporate the underwear? Put a baby seat in the back. |
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