What Would the Setbacks Do?

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My Love for Michael

January 6th, 2005

Miguel Jackstone writes:

I'm a huge Michael Jackson fan. I own every one of his albums in both vinyl and compact disc format. I try to aspire to be as much like Michael as possible in every aspect of my life. I wear a single white glove with sequins and I moonwalk in and out of the elevator everywhere I go. I've even had some of the skin on my face and hands bleached to look more like my hero. My friends have always been supportive of my obsession and this I appreciate. But now I understand that to truly become Michael I must destroy my possessions, get rid of my friends and move to Neverland Ranch. My question has two parts: where is Neverland Ranch, and am I making the right decision?


Trevor
Listen JACKSTONE! What is needed here is a quick reality check. While I agree that you must destroy all your possessions and follow you obsession, you need to do some homework first.

It has been well publicized that Jacko does not want to live at Neverland anymore after the search warrants were executed by the cops. He feels violated there and so he, Bubbles the Chimp, and the Elephant Man's bones are living in a Howard Johnsons on I-5 north of LA. Rumour has it that McAuley Culkin is visiting a lot and they are acting out scenes from The Good Son, with Jacko playing the part of Elijah Wood because Frodo won't return their phone calls.

Also, I think MJ stopped wearing the single glove after the release of Dangerous in 1991.


Steve
Awaiting wisdom...


Paul
I commend you on your dedication. Have we all forgotten how ground breaking and amazing Micheal Jackson's contribution to pop music has been? MJ's influence can be seen in countless music videos' choreography and pop music around the world.

My suggestion for you is to do AS Micheal Jackson would have done. Don't just follow the same old paedophilia. Find the next paedophilia. Start calling your home AlwaysWorld and begin inviting elderly people over for sleepovers. Take them on rollercoasters, buy them candy, and change there names to Geritol, Diaper, and Prince 5.

Miguel, if you go on this new path, you will be setting the stage for all the Miguel Jackstones around the world looking for someone new to look up to.


Chris
Miguel,

Honestly, honestly. Stop.
Michael Jackson lost his mind a long time ago, like around the time that he became buds with BOTH Ross Perot AND Macauley Culkin. He is not sane at all. He is actually insane. Granted he might be light on his feet, but after hearing about the current allegations against him, the mounting of conclusive evidence that he frolics with children naked in front effigies of himself as Jesus and other biblical characters, and the fact that there is a noticeable difference in facial features and skin color, I would say that overlooking the obvious (he is insane in the membrane) and focusing on the long ago positives (he WAS the biggest pop star ever)is unhealthy for you. By all means, if you want to befriend people half your age, transform yourself into human japanese anime, and be a reclusive weirdo who people think is asexual, do your thing. Did you know that Michael Jackson reproduces through mitosis? It's true. He has like 40 kids now, and he keeps them all in a container when not dangling them over german balconies. After all of this, if you still want to do this, go ahead.

The Directions to Neverland are:

San Quentin State Prison
California Correctional Services
1991 San Quentin Boulevard
San Quentin, California
94964

Moonwalk your ass in and visit the warden.

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