What Would the Setbacks Do?
Email questions to advice[at]thesetbacks.com
Bah Humbug
December 2nd, 2004
Ebeneezer Matsunaga writes:
Hi Santasacks,
This is your ol' buddy Trodvor, looking back in retrospect with a tear in his eye. Oh how the days have pass'd. Many years gone by, since the days of frolicking in the snow, making snow angels, and having snowball fights. These days, I can't help but feel a little older, and more cynical. The merry season has become a dark period, where it's hard to get up for work because it's still dark. Instead of wondering what Santa is bringing this year, I wonder if the traffic will be bad on Bronson the next morning. I need some advice on how to brighten up the Christmas season. I tried hooking up some icicle lights to my cubicle, and peppering my windows with a light spackle of fake snow, but no matter what I do, I just seem to get down. Please help...
 Trevor |
Listen MATSUNAGA! You need to get out and enjoy winter. I know it's hard to make time for it, but it's the only way to feel young/happy this time of year. Do you even own snow pants? You need to get some, put them on, and actually play in the snow. I'm not talking about making a lame snowman to impress a lady, I'm talking down and dirty.
Find a big snow bank, dig a tunnel. Let it collapse on you and attempt to survive for 3 days buried in that bank. Better yet, find a rural road, one with ditches, wait for a large new blanket of snow to land, and go lie in that ditch. When the snow plow comes by at the high speeds typical to the rural roads, allow it to bury you in an even larger pile of snow. Now attempt to survive for a week under a mountainous crush of snow, while nursing 4 broken ribs and a dislocated shoulder. This is the only way you will become happy with your life again. Either that or kill a kitten. That always makes me feel better. |
|---|---|
 Steve |
Awaiting wisdom... |
 Paul |
What I find works best when feeling down from the reality of life is to turn to TV. TV has always been there for me through the good and the bad. My early stone-washed jeans with no belt style was directly adopted from Zach Morris of Saved by the Bell. As I got older the WWF was a large part of my life. My new style was tights and knee pads. When anyone laughed I would put them in a sleeper hold, then cut their hair when they passed out. Now that I am in the prime of my life I have become a CSI-aholic. I know it is one 5 times a day but it isn't enough. I now interigate all my friends with horrible puns until they tell me where the cookies are hidden. (Side note: Steve, I dusted for prints on my bass amp where I left my pick. I know you said that you didn't take it but I ran your prints through the fingerprint software that I have. Long story short = Perfect Match). |
 Chris |
*Note To All Setbacks Fans
I know Ebenezer Matsunaga. He is a friend of mine. So don't let my answer to him give you the impression that I am a mean person with just any regular joe who writes into this advice column. Todd is a close personal friend of mine, and I have know him for years. He once even filled in for Trevor on guitar at one of our shows, and is an accomplised jazz dancer. Todd, I am both hurt and touched by you. It seems that you never quite got over that Winter Carnival we went to together. I want you to know that it wasn't you, but it was me. I just wasn't ready to get involved with you like that, just yet, and I kinda thought you were moving things along at a little too fast a rate. I mean, physically....yeah that was stellar. But emotionally, I just felt that you were a little sensitive about things, and you were talking about buying promise rings and stuff. I'm sorry. I miss you sometimes, but I've since moved on, and am now with someone who makes me really happy. I hope that you can move on as well. I will however let you know, that whenever I see a snowflake, the first person I think of is you. chrissy |