What Would the Setbacks Do?
Email questions to advice[at]thesetbacks.com
GUYS FEELING OTHER GUYS
November 25th, 2004
Benito Splendido writes:
I'm a well-liked guy in my circle of friends and I have lots of close acquaintances. Some of them are guys and some are girls. I consider myself a ladies man. So do some of the girls I know. Some of my guy friends have a tendency to put their hands on my shoulders when we're having beers, or attending clubs. The problem is they like to leave their hands there for times longer than 3 seconds, like they used to do in the 1800s. This makes me uncomfortable and I think the ladies might get the wrong idea. On a couple of occasions I've cold-cocked my friends for doing this to me, but they persist. How can I let them know that I don't like this without sounding like a jerk?
Please don't judge me based on my overtly Italian name. I'm actually Australian.
 Trevor |
First off, I'd like to start with a warning. Chris' answer to this advice, like most of his answers, contains jokes about being gay. He does this a lot, and I know a lot of our mothers read this column. I don't know what his fixation is, but he claims them to be jokes, no matter how insensitive. I apologize on behalf of the Setbacks.
Now on to my advice: Listen SPLENDIDO, this is a tough one. My advice is to in turn put your hand on the other guy as well, make him feel uncomfortable. This could backfire, as you may end up standing around, both of you touching each other all casually if he doesn't end up uncomfortable. Either that or try out some new friends. |
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 Steve |
The best way out of this predicament is to have your shoulders surgically removed. Don't balk at the idea - this is a time-tested procedure that's been performed for hundreds of years. It originated in Italy as a way for young men to get out of doing work like carrying sacks of feed on their family farms. The tradition was passed down many generations, but today there are very few veterinarians that still perform this risky procedure. Mackenzie King outlawed it in the 1940s when young men were using it as a way to dodge the war. In the 1960s, the underground hippie culture embraced it as a form of silent protest against the government until the disco crowd of the 70s became obsessed with having their shoulders removed as a way to mimic their idol, John Travolta. Throughout the 80s and 90s there have been very few procedures performed in Canada, but I can get you the name of a good doctor who still accepts patients in a wooded area outside of Chinatown. |
 Paul |
That is really weird. I have a friend who embarasses me exactly like that except my friend has taken it to the next level. Whenever we go to the club and are trying to dance and pick up chicks, he starts spinning around, arms stretched out, head arched back, and eyes closed. Sometimes when he stops spinning, he clutches his chest and I'm pretty sure I caught him crying once. He says it is because the music has embraced his soul but I think he looks like a damn hippy.
Either way, I think you should continue with the cold-cocking or hot-cocking. Whichever works best. Good luck. |
 Chris |
I don't really know what to say here. Paul. Since when do we pick up chicks at bars? The only "cold-cocking or hot-cocking" going on here is in this band's rhythm section. The only reason I did that the other night in your bedroom without my clothes on is because you wanted to re-enact a scene from "Shall We Dance", the movie. You know what? I always compromise with you with stuff like that. You said you friggin' liked it! I'm kind of sick and tired with you being flip flop on our casual sexual relationship. You know what? I am turning my phone off at midnight from now on. Don't bother calling me when you get out from the bar tonight! |