What Would the Setbacks Do?
Email questions to advice[at]thesetbacks.com
Serious Advice Needed
November 9th, 2004
Gerry Wright writes:
Hi,
My name is Gerry, and I have recently become involved with a woman with a serious past. My girlfriend, who is a wonderful woman, spent some time in jail a while back for securities fraud and embezzlement. She spent 4 years in prison, and did some time in a half way house in the last year. I met her through Lavalife, and she was honest with me about her history after our second date. I have to admit, while more than a little surprising, I am actually okay with this. She is a wonderful person, and I've been spending so much time dating weirdos and tards that I'm convinced that you need to have spent some time in the joint in order to be normal. She has some crazy stories as well. We'll sit together and she'll recount incidents in Millhaven's maximum secuirty pen for women where she avoided brawls, lynchings, and riots. She has an incredible story about watching 40 women beat up 3 new inmates because they came in with their nails done. Apparently, these women ripped the manicures off, literally! See what I mean? Hours of interesting conversation.
One problem. My parents are cops.
 Trevor |
Listen WRIGHT! Looks to me like Mr. Wright has found Mrs. Wrong. You need to have a background check done on this dame. No one who is convicted for embezzlement and securites fraud does time in a maximum security penitentiary. They spend time in the hotel-like minimum security condos, or at most the seedy motel-like medium security apartments.
I suspect she is lying to you in an attempt to get closer to your parents, who may have been the ones to put her behind the big bars of Millhaven for whatever heinous crime she committed. This definitely smells like a plot for revenge. When this all goes down, I'd like first shot at writing the made for tv adaptation of the events. Are you down with that? I'll have the Setbacks' lawyers fax you a copy of a contract. After rereading my advice, I can tell you this: I like my advice like I like my women: fast and stupid. |
|---|---|
 Steve |
Gerry - I can't pinch off any wisdom if you don't ask me anything.
In the words of Mr. Trebek: "Can you phrase that in the form of a question?" |
 Paul |
Awaiting wisdom... |
 Chris |
Man. Nymphomaniac women in prison and chains and shanks and sweaty breasts....hmmmm...this sounds like a penthouse forum letter! I'd say tell your parents that she was a warden, that way, when she recounts this hot XXX stories of her time in the slammer,...uh....wait. I think I've let my mind wander.
sorry. |