What Would the Setbacks Do?
Email questions to advice[at]thesetbacks.com
STIGMATA!!!
December 13th, 2002
Jamie Brightman-Willis writes:
Hey Guys, I have a bad problem. I fucked around with a OUIJI board one night with my buddies, and we got to talking with this demon named "Gonaiden". He let us know by spelling it out on the board. This was the single most scary fucking thing to ever happen to me. After asking it a series of questions, it got pissed with us, and cursed my buddy Mike.
Mike now has bleeding sores that have erupted from his hands and feet. The blister tops harden, but when he puts on socks or shakes someone's hands, they explode all over the place. This is ruining his life. His doctor says that he has a bad case of goiter/boils...but it isn't going away. They look like gigantic hard boiled eggs, and the crap that comes out of these things looks like a mixture of liquid paper and table syrup. It also smells like hot ass, and is making all of our friends stay the fuck away from him. He's my best friend...what should I do?
 Trevor |
This is an interesting problem. I remember it happened to my friend "Bill" once before. Here's how we tried to deal with the problem:
1. take him to an old abandoned spooky castle, you will need to bring the Ouija board. 2. draw a pentagram in the creepiest room, preferably with a really high ceiling, and have him take off all his clothes except for a blindfold. 3. tie a goat to one of his ankles, and a huge boulder to his other. 4. leave Mike, the goat, the boulder, and the ouija board there, take the clothes. 5. never go back there or speak of it ever again. It's not guaranteed to work, it's just what we tried. It certainly got rid of the smell, as we never saw "bill" again. |
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 Steve |
Awaiting wisdom... |
 Paul |
Awaiting wisdom... |
 Chris |
If you screwed around with a OUIJI board, you best go to a priest, a la Father Jason, and get an exorcism or some shit like that done. If you have any real sense, you might want to refrain from calling up demons and goblins with a OUIJI board. The other thing that you can do is put on "Jenny From The Block" by Jennifer Lopez, and I'm sure whatever entity is occupying your friend's spores will immediately exit the wounds, and calling something short of Ghostbusters will not be neccessary.
c.diddy |