What Would the Setbacks Do?

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Oh man! What to do?

December 12th, 2002

Anonymous formerly of Vancouver writes:

I have a problem. I know that my boyfriend is cheating on me, but since
moving here almost three years ago from Vancouver so that he could work for
Foreign Affairs, our relationship had gotten stronger if anything...or so I
thought. My friend Joelle saw him at a local restaurant with a woman,
holding her hand and kissing it. I'm already asking myself whether it was
all a big misunderstanding, but I'm sure that it wasn't. What do I do? My
family loves him, and we've been together for almost five and a half years,
yet I can't stand to see him.


Trevor
Staying together merely out of habit is a bad thing. A BAD thing. If the only reason you don't want to end it with him is because you've invested so much time then you are in it for the wrong reasons. Regardless of whether he's having a 'foreign affair' or not, its time to get out. I can't stand seeing people afraid to break up just because its easier to stay in the rut they're in.

The unknown can be a frightening thing. But it's also where all the new stuff is discovered. When man wanted to set foot on the moon, he didn't say "well we're already pretty comfortable here", they went, worked hard, and literally reached for the stars. And now look, we did it! We put a man on the moon! What can be next? I don't know about you but I can't wait to find out, because I wouldn't want to wait to find out that in 20 years mankind hasn't progressed anywhere because it was easier to stay on earth.


Steve
Sorry anonymous, but I don't see the problem. Are you saying that you're considering staying together with this scumbag because your family loves him and you've been dating for a long time? That doesn't make any sense to me. He's completely betrayed your trust for who knows how long and he deserves to be booted in the ass - hard! Here's what I would do...set up a big pot of boiling tar and a bag of feathers over his bedroom door. When he walks out in the morning - BAM! Tar and feathers all over him! That'll teach him to mess around with you...plus it'll cover his body in 3rd degree burns so that no woman will ever find him attractive again...take that, jerkass! That's what I call revenge! Then you can ask him to explain himself on the way to the hospital as the tar hardens.


Paul
I'm hoping that after 5+ years that you can talk to your guy about anything and everything. This is one of those times. You would hate to tar and feather someone for nothing.

Conversely, from the evidence, it doesn't look good. The one excuse for not confronting this issues that I cannot stand is "we have been together so long". This gives you a reason to not immidiately give up on the relationship but it does not mean that you should "tough it out". If things are bad, finish things. You don't have any kids and your parents will want what is best for you and will support your decision.

If after all of this you find out that he is cheating on you. Then move to the tar and feather choice.


Chris
This doesn't look good. All of these situations happened on Degrassi Junior High to the max! You need to get a firm hold on things, because you are in the midst of making some major decisions, which although may be difficult, will challenge and ensure some positive change in your life.

Be sure to get the whole story before doing anything, and be demanding. There is nothing more complicated that skirting around confronting your other about something like this. You need a direct and honest answer, which I wouldn't expect to get very easy.

Best of luck...

chris

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