What Would the Setbacks Do?

Email questions to advice[at]thesetbacks.com

My Damn Co-Worker

July 13th, 2004

Jojo Munroe writes:

I work for an established media company in downtown Ottawa. I love my job. The people are great, and I work on some very interesting projects within the Canadian market that require me to stay focused on the tasks at hand, and to bring a series of solid ideas to the table.

One of the designers in my office is one of the most talented guys in the city. He really is. There is one problem. He has a severe case of irritable bowel syndrome, that is loud. I can hear his plumbing having a party all the time if you know what I mean. It is similar to the sound when you flush the toilet a few times and it doesn't go down. This has become a common occurence at board meetings, client meetings, and social gatherings over wins with the company. "Phil", as I will call him, pretends like he doesn't have a problem, but it is so audible, and disrupts everything so severely, that we are as embarassed as he is to acknowledge it. This is not just rumbling and growling of the tummy. Imagine all the pipes in a building bending and bursting all at once, then cover it up with a belly and some skin, and you will get the idea of how significant these interruptions are. I feel bad for Phil, but he really has got to get a handle on this. Also, god forbid you should walk into a bathroom after he's been there. We have a common bathroom on our floor of our office tower, and Phil takes some seriously toxic shits in there. Once I walked in after he used the head, and my eyebrows fell off.

What is the best way, besides firing Phil's ass, to correct this problem?
I love the guy, but if I wanted to hear plumbing activity, I'd rest my ear against the drianage pipes in my house. This is not appropriate for work.

Thanks,

Jojo

Trevor	As is the case with many geniuses, this particular person does have a glaring quirk which makes people around him uncomfortable. This is God's way of making sure geniuses aren't taken advantage of. You must take the great with the bad if you want to work with him. Little known facts: Einstein had an incredibly hairy back, and always demanded that anyone working with him help work out tangles before they started work everyday. Michealangelo refused to wash his feet, and never wore anything like shoes or sandles. Da Vinci had a sinus problem that made him leak profusely from his nose. As you can see, most of the world's gifted people are cursed with something that others must tolerate. You must tolerate the daily stomach earthquakes and the stinky size tens he leaves in the washroom if you want to acheive greatness with him.
Steve	Contrary to what some of you are thinking, I didn't write this question about myself. While I don't suffer from IBS personally, I am a victim of it's lesser-known cousin: CLFS (Constant Loud Fart Syndrome). As you'll learn if you ask any of the Setbacks or my close friends this is a condition I have lived with for a very long time and while I am able to control it to some degree, I can never tell just when it will next rear it's ugly head. I just have to keep my chin up and take it one day at a time.
Paul	Awaiting wisdom...
Chris	I'll be honest. There is nothing that I like better than going to someone's house, saying hello for 5 seconds, hitting the head, and exploding with fecal ferocity. It is good and nice feeling. I also enjoy reading different magazines as I do, and they include....People, Star, and In Touch. Just as a note, it is advisable to flush twice when doing these things. Because you leave more streaks than an accident at the corner of Baseline and Fisher.

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