What Would the Setbacks Do?
Email questions to advice[at]thesetbacks.com
Famous Players
June 14th, 2004
Sean writes:
Hello Setbacks,
You might remember me from the question that I submitted quite a while back concerning my altercation with Cineplex Odeon Theatres during their screening of Star Trek Nemesis. I was the man in the shuttlecraft.
My newest battle with the corporate machine called "the movie industry" takes place in the realm of Famous Players Theatres this time. My problem with them is related to my countdown to Aliens Vs. Predator. I have devised a series of paper mache aliens, which I have perched atop the theatre code named "coliseum" on Carling avenue in Ottawa. I have constructed a suit that enables me to take the form of Predator. I essentially took some spare lego, a few fishnet stocking, and my old cougar winter boots, and have likened myself after this magnificent creature first introduced to human audiences in the initial Arnold Schwarzennegger classic of 1986. I hang about the theatre property, and have a giant digital clock that I point traffic to. Famous Players has since given me a series of verbal warnings concerning my "crime" that they have decided to pursue as "trespassing".
What do you suggest I do to take my message of the intergalactic war between these two magnificent speciesm to the human population, and celebrate this sensational movie?
Thank You,
Sean
 Trevor |
I don't know what to tell you man. It pains me to get advice from a person we've already tried to help for a very similar reason. We do get a lot of thank you notes and things like that for helping out, but this one email is causing me to lose sleep. The last time, we advised you quite strongly to go about things differently, and now you've come back a year later with the same question. It seems you've missed the point completely.
When my advice does not work, it makes me feel helpless. Like a tiny fish in a big sea, pushing as hard as I can to make a splash with my tail fin, but barely making a ripple. A single tear is running down my cheek. |
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 Steve |
Chris - that wasn't an irate manager, that was me. I wasn't worried that you were going to have a heart attack, but that the toxic gases building up in your digestive track as a result of eating a half-cup of white cheddar seasoning might release themselves in my presence. I simply can't take that chance, so I thought you understood why I didn't want to watch the movie with you and got a ticket to the 4:10 show of Garfield instead.
Note to self: keep a close eye on Bill Murray's thus-far bullet-proof career - it appears to be showing cracks. |
 Paul |
Did Ellen Ripley give up when all of her collegues were mutilated by the Alien? Did Major Dutch Schaeffer give up when the Predator was one by one eliminating all of his team? The answer is no.
I suggest that you destroy anything that gets in the way unless they release the greatest movie that will ever be seen by human eyes..... Alien vs. Predator. Good luck to you. |
 Chris |
I have to agree with Trevor here Sean.
The reality of this situation, is that Famous Players, much like Cineplex, and much like any functioning business for that matter, has a major problem with your weird behaviour. This is a movie. You gotta remember that. I have some strange tendencies as well, such as going to these theatres to see bad movies, and getting a large popcorn, going to the to topping kiosk, and unscrewing the white cheddar powder top. I then proceed to pour the entire contents into my popcorn as quick as I can. I once ran into an irate manager who called me a "weirdo", and said that I was guaranteed to have a heart attack with that much of that crap on there...I was unable to enjoy my film because of the exchange. My point is, do not screw around with the theatres. They are evil and very real, and can contribute to your downfall. |