What Would the Setbacks Do?

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Granny Express

April 16th, 2004

Nicholas Butterballs writes:

Hey Guys,

Little Dilemma. My girlfriend asked me to drive her grandmother to the airport yesterday. I didn't make it to the airport, as her grandmother died in the car. I was so afraid that she'd get upset about that, that when she asked if she had gotten there okay, I just said that I had personally seen her get on the plane. I don't like to see her cry....I know it was stupid. Anyways, I've only been going out with her for about 2 weeks. I don't want to screw this one up guys...she might be THE ONE. I still have her grandmother in the car, but I just put her in the trunk. The car stinks!

How do I get grandmother smell out of my Mazda?

Trevor	I'm not sure if your question is related to dumping the whole body or just the rotting flesh smell. If it's about dumping the body: don't be such a pansy and dismember the corpse already! That will make hiding it easier. If your question is only cosmetic (ie: smell removal) I suggest watching the show Family Plots on A&E. It's a reality show based in a funeral home. It's filled with all sorts of tips on how to make a dead person look presentable for family members, even if the person died in a bad accident and was disfigured! You're bound to pick up a couple of pointers on that show. Good luck with this, and if you can get through it I know your girlfriend and you will live long happy lives together based on trust and honesty.
Steve	Awaiting wisdom...
Paul	Ok, first of all you have to pass the blame onto someone else. I suggest that you bring grandma over to your girlfriends house. Before you go inside tie grandma's leg to yours and wrap you arm around her. When you get inside the house all you need to do is fake one little gesture from grandma, say that grandma looks tired, and lie her down in the spare bedroom. Stick around for a little bit but then fake an illness or an uncle to pick up at the airport and get out of there. Long story short, they will all think she died in her sleep. Granny is out of your car, no more smell, and you still have the girl.
Chris	Mr. Butterballs, Do you have a Mazda 3? That is a nice car! Grandparents are awesome. My grandfather has a tendency to fall asleep at chinese buffets, in between heaping plates of food. Crazy times, eh?

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