What Would the Setbacks Do?
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December 10th, 2002
Anonymous writes:
I noticed that only guys have been asking for advice, so I thought that I would ask a question that I know a lot of women want to know the answer to.
I met this guy about 3 weeks ago who I thought was really hot. We hit it off right away and hung out the whole night. I was super attracted to him. I definitely felt a strong chemistry between us and I actually did want to sleep with him right away - so I did (safe sex, of course). I gave him my number and low and behold - he has not called. So that ends that...
So my question to you fine fellas is: If a girl sleeps with you right away is she immediately a "slut" and therefore is not worth seeing again? To assume that she is this way with every guy is pretty lame. Girls do not think any less of a guy that gets down and dirty on the first date. It's all about physical attraction and why should that be ignored or suppressed because of "rules". You would think that a guy who is attracted to someone initially would want to see that person again - or is it that there can be no real physical attraction at all and it is all just about opportunistic sex?
Thanks in advance,
"Falsely Labelled"
 Trevor |
Dear FL:
It is unfortunate that a double standard exists still in this day and age that a woman cannot go out and get down without being racked with guilt over being considered a slut. Even with all the advancements people like the Spice Girls, shows like Sex In The City, and even public figures like Judge Judy have made for women, there is still the double standard. But that is beside the point. My point of view: a girl is not a slut if she sleeps with me right away. But she is if she sleeps with Steve. And if this guy hasn't called, it's pretty obvious what he was after. Or he lost the number. I'm always losing things. |
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 Steve |
Thanks for the question, Falsely Labelled. It's comforting to know that our advice hasn't scared away all the women from this fine band's web site.
When I read your letter and listen to how the events that unfolded that night, the word "slut" doesn't come to mind. I can understand that if you were really attracted to that guy you'd want to bag him, but at what cost? When you make a commitment to get intimate like that right after meeting a guy, you're setting yourself up for disappointment. You're pretty much relying on this unspoken understanding that you'll remain in touch. Who knows if he has any intention of ever seeing you again? It's not like you can ask him...and even if you did, he'd just tell you a lie so he could get some action. ...so what's my point? Good question. I'll answer that next week. |
 Paul |
That is down right wrong! I think the person that should be labelled is the guy that obviously isn't "man" enough to at least phone you to say that things won't work out.
I had this whole joke thing worked out where I was going to write that we should meet for a candle light dinner because what guy doesn't like a girl that puts out on the first date? But that is very rude and is just pushing the stereotype even more. My real advice: Don't worry about it. Be yourself. Obviously things weren't ment to be (I'm sounding like an after school special). I beleive in Karma. If you are a good person. Good things will come to you. You will find the right guy |
 Chris |
Hey-o,
Listen. There is nothing wrong with having sex with someone on the first date. You can do whatever you want. There is nothing wrong with doing whatever it is that you think is appropriate. If you've gauged that sleeping with this person is the right thing to do...then go along with what your gut tells you to do. I've always tried to never criticize peoples decisions. That sucks the sausages. Even if you want to slut it up with a bunch of chicks in some gangbang video with Fred Durst and Snoop Dogg, then do it! That's the beauty of having genitals, and furthermore, being able to make your own decisions. Do whatver you want...that's what I say, and if the guy can't realize that he's got it good when a lady gives it up like that, then he's retarded. By the way...you can call/e-mail/telegraph me anytime you'd like to have a more personable conversation. chrisluigisaracino@hotmail.com BYE! c.diddy |