What Would the Setbacks Do?

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Capital Punishment

March 15th, 2004

Sherman Marks writes:

Hey guys - caught you at Sneaky Dee's last month... great set. Here's the situation -I'm going to be spending a four month work term in Ottawa this summer. Is there anything to do in that city??? I've heard it's all gov't and boring as all hell!! Help me cause I'm really not looking forward to a summer of yawns. Thanks -SM

Trevor	Sherman, I truly believe anywhere can be as fun as you make it. No matter what backwater burg you live in, there will be SOMETHING to do. Ottawa is a city of about 1 million people. Even if 1% of the population aren't the "bed by 10" government workers, thats 10 000 people looking for a good time. If you can't find fun with 10 000 people, maybe your interests are too weird. This reminds me of the co op placement I did in grade 10. I was REALLY into boxes at the time, so I took a job at a box factory outside of Deep River. Little did I know that box factories are completely automated, so I ended up being the only person in the place for 3 months. I had to live and eat there. You might think I would have gotten bored... NO SIR! Not this kid. I created 13 friends out of things around the factory (14 before Molly Mop became so stinky I had to throw her out). We even made a band and released a half dozen records made out of boxes, and we played them on box record players, and lived in box houses with box oven and box tvs. Oh what a glorious time! Bottom line is if I can survive in a box factory, you can do Ottawa. Plus we have museume here! HOORAY MUSEUMS! MUSEUMS!
Steve	Well Sherman - you certainly have us pegged. In fact, you couldn't be more on the money on this one. Being the capital of Canada and the homebase of the prime minister, everybody in Ottawa works for the government. There aren't any employers, companies or businesses in Ottawa other than the feds. All us Joe Punchclocks work our 8am-3pm and go home and watch reruns of the day's House of Commons processions on CPAC (that's Canada's Political Channel). It's a hell of a life here in Ottawa - I'm not sure if you're up to it Sherman.
Paul	If you are only here for four months you will be plenty busy. There is at least four months of "touristy" type stuff to do. Since I havn't really done much of that lately (since I've lived here all my life..... and I'm still not bored) so I will recommend some good places to check out. When I am in the mood for some great urban discussions where one is not judged by there appearance but there way of expressing themselves I head to Inferno or The Bulldog. When I am looking for the newest trends in music and style I always head to The Cabin or On Tap. Looking for a place that will remind you of home, head to Maxwell's. Hopefully, we will bump into each other this summer!
Chris	Guy, Are you dissing our city? Ottawa is mad crazy fun in the summer and all year round, dude. What other place can you go into a bar, and not be able to smoke? What other place has malls that are located about 6000 km away from each other? What other place has a city wide transportation service that employs career criminals? In Ottawa, I'll have you know, you can go to Mooney's Bay, and watch the dead corpses float in the water, while obese women saunter around in thongs and no tops! Know why? Because you don't have to wear a top in the summer! You wanna let those flap pouches free, no problem. Unfortunately, all the female trolls seem to practice this. In other news, we have a killer folk festival, and have the most shawarma shoppes in one city per capita than any other place on earth! Other tidbits of Ottawa fun.....teenage hooligans who regualate our suburban neighbourhoods! Ottawa has a fantastic sensational phenomenon called "swarming" that is commonplace here. Think again Ottawa is boring!

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