Trevor Kealey: The Morning After
Based On A True Story and True Events

October 26th, 2003

First off...note to all. I do not trade any kind of rim shots or rim jobs for wine spritzers.

We hyperspaced everyone with rock on Friday night. Our guitars created warp 6 in the audience, and I actually witnessed someone vaporize. It was incredible. Klingons actually appeared at one point, and then got beamed back up into their warbird vessel because our sonic assault was like a plasma torpedo.

After the gig, Trevor got drunk, and proceeded to walk home with Steve.
I passed out at Trevor's house, but got reacquainted with him in the morning as his wonderful wife made pancakes for me and our friends Amanda and Angie, who also crashed at his house. I poked my head into the bedroom, and saw Trevor in his bed, hung over, and with no shirt on. He then farted, and I actually saw the sheet puff up like a small explosion. He sauntered into the kitchen with his Denver Hayes briefs, and exclaimed that it was his house, and that he could let his frank and beans float because it was a Saturday.
As we ate the pancakes, the only other piece of clothing that he put on was a fedora, and he began singing "Smooth Criminal" and not using utensils when consuming the pancakes. We discussed virginal friends from high school, Ian Blurton and him producing The Weakerthans record, and general music stuff. Trevor was insistent on making sure that we all knew that where we were was HIS HOUSE. He kept on telling us that he could walk around naked in front of us, and that there was nothing we could do. He also said that he doesn't flush the toilet after a number one, because he pays the fucking bills in this motherfucker, and that everyone ought to be more practical. We all agreed to just let him go on his rant. Then he slapped me with a pancake, and asked me what I was going to do about it. I grabbed my jacket, and motioned to leave. He kicked me down the stairs and called me a dirty guinea. He called me later and apologized because he meant to say that I was a dirty WOP.

Rehearsal is on Wednesday!

-chris