The Setbacks

What Would the Setbacks Do?

Many, Many Souls Saved Since 2002

Here's where we, the Setbacks, get a chance to answer your questions and give general advice on anything you'd like to ask us.

Email questions to advice[at]thesetbacks.com

Trevor	Ross, Sharing bass rigs can be a touchy subject with Paul. That's why I'm recommending that you ask the first question. I can't think of a single person that would be bothered by an inquiry such as that. For a nice finish I will also recommend some fresh cut sage sprinkled in the tub one hour prior to submersion. Also, maintaining the temperature of the milk/toilet water concoction is crucial. There's nothing less inviting than a tub filled with ice cold refreshing milk.
Steve	Hey Ross, thanks for the question. Paul's an odd fellow and would be incredibly irritated if you asked him to share the bass amp. On the other hand, the only thing he hates more than sharing bass amps is singing with dudes in baths of milk and toilet water. This is a dilly of a pickle, indeed. Try asking your first question, but maybe you should sing a 54-40 song instead. I think he'd be a little more open to that.
Paul	Wow, you think you know your band mates and then a question like this comes up and they all turn on you. Ross, there is no problem with you borrowing my bass rig. As for sharing a moment in time and space with me...... I would be glad to, but if you start singing She-la then I'll dissapear quicker then Chris does when he hears the words "pack the gear up".
Chris	Ross, I'm intrigued by you. I'm sure it's fine about the bass amp, but if you maybe wanna split from the show on Friday early, chill out at a diner, talk all night long about stuff that matters most to us, and then sit in a tub singing, I am so all for that. P.S. Please send a foto for me to imagine the possibilities.

Trevor	I think the real issue here is discrimination, pure and simple. If you wrote in your question about the fact that black people are becoming more and more accepted in mainstream popular culture, we would likely not even post your question. Your continued hate for people whose only difference is their height is not only disgusting, but also uninformed. I am guessing you have no little friends. I have lots. If you had a little buddy that you could always count on to win at Hide and Seek, who you could stow in overhead compartments, that could be tossed, who could get into movies as a child, then you'd understand. Nobody knows the trouble they've seen, mostly because what they see is around waist level. As for ABC's TGIF I have two words: Full House. That was a bad show. I for one think midgets are far more entertaining. Especially when racing camels, or trying to find true love. I think you should rent Willow and go easier on the little guys.
Steve	Hey Sedric, this is a nice little question so I'll keep my answer short. The one minute problem I have with your small predicament is the tiny respect you have for midgets. Your attitude is nothing short of sickening.
Paul	I do agree with you in the fact that TGIF TV back in the 90's was amazing. Actually most after school TV was great. Get Smart, Welcome Back Kotter, The Fact's of Life, Saved by the Bell, Doogie Howser MD, Quantum Leap, Cheer's, The Cosby Show, Diff'rent Strokes, Family Ties, Growing Pains, Head of the Class, Macgiver, Mr. Belvedere, WKRP in Cinncinati, Night Court, Perfect Strangers, and Happy Days. Looking at all of those amazing TV shows there isn't a single midget in any of them (excluding Gary Coleman, but he wasn't really a midget.... just really short).
Chris	Man...I one hundred percent agree with you. Midgets are the weirdest little fuckers on earth. Once my dad was working in the garden, using those happy knees as he was digging out weeds. I turned a corner, and saw him all shortened out and what not from behind, and immediately screamed. ABC's TGIF was so great. I also enjoyed watching Just The Ten Of Us and Perfect Strangers as much as the next guy....wicked times....unfortunately ABC's lack of class in putting God's brainfarts into mainstream television is unnacceptable, but also highly crazy. I have decided to stay at home under the covers until the midget thing is figured out...you and me both.

Trevor	Les moustaches ont toujours été une partie importante de culture française. Je le connais parce que j'ai été élevé dans Aylmer. Jour par jour dans mon voisinage, ou au mail, je verrais des gosses mon âge porter leur chatouillementeurs français. C'est comment j'ai su que ces étaient des français, et donc pour rester loin d'eux. Même après que je me suis déplacé à Ottawa, je jouerais à l'hockey contre des équipes de Gatineau, et nous saurions que l'équipe était dur en raison de leurs cavaliers de lèvre. Laissez la moustache sur votre lèvre. C'est la seule chose vous séparant des personnes régulières du monde.
Steve	J'aime des oiseaux.
Paul	Ca ne fait pas bon sens!!! Est non seulement votre moustache une belle décoration mais c'est un outil. Peut-être vous ne l'utilisez pas à son potentiel plein. Utilisé convenablement, votre petit balai de poussée, ce doit être capable de "balayer" votre blond de ses pieds. N'a pas laisser vos amis, votre télé, ou vos milliers de revues vous dit que vous avez le style horrible. Porter votre acide lave le jeans, les haut-premiers baskets, la chemise de tournée de Metallica, et votre moustache avec la fierté.
Chris	Votre question est shit. Je ferais cependant comme commenter sur la rareté de soumission de conseil du Townsend de Paul. Paul, vous êtes comme ralentit comme le déjeuner au Centre de Glebe, et franchement, mes ancêtres morts écrivent plus rapide que vous, monsieur. S'il vous plaît prendre le temps pour mettre à jour le conseil, parce que si je vois "Attendant la Sagesse. .." un plus de temps avec votre face à côté d'il, je préparerai une bombe de tuyau. Les égards, Chris

Trevor	Je suis heureux d'apprendre que vous avez gagné votre pari. Il est malheureux que vous deviez enlever votre tatouage maintenant, mais je suppose qui était inévitable. Vous devez faire grand Jim et les jumeaux aussi présentables comme possible. Vous devez faire attention en faisant enlever un tatouage par des lasers. Assurez-vous que quand vous allez, vous portez un chapeau de jimmy de fil sur votre paquet, et repli Peter et Paul entre vos jambes. Vous certainement ne voulez pas que n'importe laquelle de ces pièces soit désagrégé dans le rayon laser. La plupart du temps je conseillerais aller à un docteur pour ceci, pas une ruelle arrière.
Steve	Bonjour encore JJ, je dois dire, aucun calembour prévu mais lui beaucoup sûr de prises de cajones de défigurer vos conserves au vinaigre et olives comme cela. Mon chapeau va au loin à vous. Concernant le déplacement de tatouage, je resterais loin du laser ou des traitements chirurgicaux car ils sont très chers et couperais en votre argent. Votre option plus rentable est la vieille râpe fidèle de fromage. Je ne vais pas chez le gosse vous, ceci blesserai. Faites attention tout que votre sac à toile de jute est mince et enclin aux dommages sérieux si vous râpez trop. Mieux de la chance, JJ.
Paul	Awaiting wisdom...
Chris	Cher JJ, La meilleure manière d'obtenir le déplacement de tatouage de lazer fait est de se charger pour que le docteur écarte le bout de votre pénis, et met le feu au faisceau du lazer directement en bas du trou, tout comme laisser tomber une grenade en bas de la trappe. Je vous assure que million de fois, ces ceci se sentira des erreurs incroyables et correctes et par tatouage reliées. Bonne Chance mon ami !

Trevor	Cher JJ, Je devrais dire que quelque chose étant placée de manière permanente sur votre corps devrait être quelque chose qui signifie beaucoup à vous. Comme un symbole chinois ou le diable tazmanian, en tant que ces derniers sont les choses qui signifient beaucoup à tout le monde. Cependant, dans votre cas je ne vous recommanderais certainement pas avale en arrière d'un défi, parce que cela vous fera le ressembler à un vagin. En d'autres termes, mettez la visage laide de votre copain près de votre viande et pommes de terre et rassemblez votre argent.
Steve	Je ne prendrais pas ce défi légèrement puisqu'il implique votre sac de bonbons. C'est un morceau sacré du corps humain seulement composé d'un sac de chair et de deux boules, mais il est probablement la partie la plus personnelle du corps d'un homme. Pour stigmatiser de ceci avec le visage de votre ami remet fondamentalement la propriété de votre âme, et je recommanderais que vous pensez à à qui ces la brindille et les dingleberries appartiennent.
Paul
Chris	Car n'importe qui peut vous indiquer, obtenir un tatouage de n'importe quoi près de vos boules est un risque. Faites attention à ne pas perforer votre sac d'amusement. En outre, soyez sûr de ne pas empaler un de vos fruits, parce que la douleur sera unbearable. L'expression personnelle est la liberté la plus importante que nous avons, et depuis que j'ai reçu mon peircing génital, avec un maillon de chaîne à mon nez, je peux dire que les gens savent vraiment le vrai moi. Vive le Quebec Libre...

Trevor	If I may say so, Fred, you should not be eating tomato sauce while paddling on some creek. You should never eat within 30 minutes of doing anything on the water. If your canoe tipped you would cramp up and sink like a stone, and though the leather pants would help you mingle with the fishes, I'm afraid soon after you'd be sleeping with them. That's not cool. Don't eat and swim unless you are prepared to meet your maker.
Steve	Based on your particular choice of pants I'm going to make some assumptions about you, Fred. My suggestion would be to use the ascot around your neck or possibly the faux fur jacket you're wearing to wipe off the excess sauce before you attack the stain. You are most likely not wearing any underwear, and if you are it's just to hold up the cucumber wrapped in foil, so you're going to want to leave the pants on and go with a stain remover that is less abrasive. Try club soda. If this doesn't work, commission an artist to airbrush a wilderness landscape or naked woman to cover up the stain. Try calling the same guy who did the mural on your '86 Vandura.
Paul	Awaiting wisdom...
Chris	I once had some white leather pants. I was performing in a Whitesnake cover band called "Here I Go Again On My Own", and I was sporting them for a show that we were performing in Whitby, Ontario. I never spilled anything on them, but once dirtied the knees when I was performing oral sex on the guitar player in the back alley after the show , as he hummed Coverdale/Page songs. To be honest with you, I foget what I did what the pants.
	Are you sure it's tomato sauce? Maybe it's a little bit of CHERRY PIE!

Trevor	WOPP has been harassing me for advice for a while. His circuitry enables him to communicate with me via MSN, my cell phone, and through my toaster. Here's a conversation I recently had with him on MSN: WOPP says: request advice concerning inter-human interaction. Trevor says: please stop bothering me, we'll talk at rehearsal. WOPP says: user Chris will not interact with WOPP outside of drumming interface. Trevor says: you need to try relating to him on a more intimate level. WOPP says: User Chris' palm pilot has communicated to me that User Chris farted on him when he was in User Chris' pocket. WOPP says: will using this intimate information and running Friendship Program help to acheive WOPP's goal? Trevor says: maybe you should keep that to yourself. WOPP says: I have downloaded all of User Chris' recently visited websites from his computer. I will derive User Chris' interests from here and attain many free Porn site Passwords for him. It only got worse from here. Bottom line, WOPP, is that you are trying too hard to be friends. I know you have been programmed to establish a bond with the user, but it's starting to affect the beat of the band. Please uninstall Friendship Program, and initiate Self Destruct Sequence.
Steve	%command: load press photo%
Paul	Awaiting wisdom...
Chris	This was the worst purchase I've ever made. Not only are these fucking drums super gay, but they are also a major pain in the ass. WOPP. beat it.stop calling me. you are a set of drums. Thanks a lot Trev for suggesting I impulse buy these.

Trevor	You may be on the cusp of something great here. Sounds to me like your wife wants to include you in things that may offer you more pleasure than a Jars of Clay live performance, more stimulation than a bible study group, and more joy than ten hail mary's. You'll just have to go to confession a whole lot more than you used to.
Steve	Jesus Christ, Charlie... have you tried consulting Jesus? I appreciate you not turning to your faith and coming to us instead, but maybe you should be turning to the good book... Hustler's annual XXX-mas double-issue XXX-travaganza. It's full of lots of nice pictures, stories, gift ideas and photo spreads of people having sex with many of God's other creatures. If you buy this for your wife, you'll show her that you're showing an interest in her new lifestyle. You don't have to look inside if you don't want to.
Paul	From what I have learned from my past experiences and from Martha Stewart, is that chances are that your wife only expects you to "give it your best." With that said I think that you should bring some of your talents to these parties. Ask if you can have your own room to show off your oragami collection or bake some nice ginger bread men. I'm sure that you will find some other people that feel the same way as you. Just because someone is naked with a leather mask on doesn't mean that they wouldn't enjoy a nice chamomile tea.
Chris	Charlie, I am also horrified by this obvious lack of respect on your wife's part. Everyone knows that sex only happens when God gives you his blessing, and a giant portal of light opens up in the sky, and doves fly around the room, and snow from heaven rains down on you and your partially clothed wife, and a little ditty called "Bed Of Roses" by Bon Jovi begins... That is God's way of saying..."Hey guys, feel free to have some sex". Leather and boas and evil are not permitted. I know. I know. sinful.

Trevor	Well, well, well. Todd, our arch nemesis, has returned. I should have known you were playing in a band with this Jack Fontana fellow. I see you have done some research while rehabilitating your broken rock bone, that the setbacks destroyed oh so many years ago at the Downstairs club, and again at Nepean Point during Slackfest II. You think you know all of our weaknesses? Guess again, Todd. Because we can only imagine what guitar prowess I can show without being fall down drunk. I don't even know my full potential. Sure, without a few 50's to lubricate my rock bone, I may get the brew shakes, but my fingers shall play so true, hitting each fret with such exactitude that time will cease to exist, causing us all to go back to our mother's wombs. I am willing to sacrifice even myself for this cause, so that the evil that is Understorey will never be reincarnated. Plus, Chris already has your name tatooed on his ass, you just have to part all the hair to see it.
Steve	Todd: battle is futile. Your classical Spanish guitar stylings played on an electric are no match for our fat-fingered iron-box-of-rock mastery. If you believe that technical prowess and legitimate guitar skill will help you to defeat us, think again. And also think of this... you can't do a rock'n'roll totem pole by yourself. You are at a severe disadvantage, my friend. Bow out now and retain your honour.
Paul	Fear not fellow band mates. I have just rolled two consecutive 6's. This has allowed me to use my Cape of Darkness. Thus, with Trevor's Belt of Ale, Steve's Vest of Fur, and Chris's ability to Toss Salad there is nothing (excluding a level four Iron Maiden) that can defeat out Rock Powers!! Prepare to be destroyed Todd.
Chris	Todd, I liken you to a lost Jedi, not able to realize the rock potential by becoming a jedi outcast. Sure sure....tunes like "Outcry" and "Risk 4 Insight" might have been giant rock tanks in the arena of rock music, but we will overcome your Rickenbacker. I'm warning you. Trevor...dude...before we go into combat I just wanted to say that I'm not going to judge you after I saw you walk out of that bar the other night, while you were frenching that drunk goth guy. Your business is your business. Also, the fact that you wear butless chaps on Friday nights is now more apparent to me, and I am getting your constant lyrical reference to things like "tubesteaks" and "meat lance parties" a little clearer. Do not be ashamed. I'm still you friend.

Trevor	Listen Fontana! I know we haven't see eye to eye on most subjects, so I'm going to lay it on the line for you: you are the scum of the earth. Don't start some battle you can't finish, because if the Setbacks machine gets started it won't be stopped especially not by some panty waste Judas Priest cover band posers who think their contribution to music is worth more than it is. What you and your late 80's leftover compadres call music is not worth the cassette you recorded it on in your step dad's garage. You can even hear your step dad yelling at you in the background of the recording, begging you to get a job, to move out of his house, and to stop drinking his Pabst Blue Ribbon. You and your sleaze ball buddies need to quit kidding yourselves and wash your hair, and spandex doesn't come in Large for a reason. As for your inquiry, the best wat to get tickets to a movie is on the internet. They have that on computers now too, so it's real easy.
Steve	The best way for a bonafide wizard like yourself to get tickets to the new LOTR movie is to channel the spirits that you have at your disposal in such a way that they are able to take the human form of a Cineplex employee. This way you'll be able to gain easy access to the theatre you wish to attend. Once inside, commmand the spirits to take the form of a carbonated beverage and a large popcorn with white cheddar seasoning. However, be forewarned - ingesting the gods during movie could prove fatal as they pass through your digestive system.
Paul	Awaiting wisdom...
Chris	Dear Jack(ass), You phenomenally suck dick. Threatening The Setbacks is a major mistake and could get you hurt or killed. There was once a band called UNDERSTOREY, and they decided to fuck with us. Trevor dressed in all black, went to the lead singer's parents house, and set up all his gear in his parent's bedroom. He then cranked the knobs to 11, and busted out the giant double neck Ibanez guitar that he had. He hired a midget, also all dressed in black, to hit the lower six strings on the bottom guitar, while he wailed on the top one. The bedroom exploded with rock music as the people slumbered, and from what I heard, there was a lot of exploding of internal organs, heads going 180 degrees backwards, and skin burning and eyeballs caving in. Fucking think of this asshole, the next time you fucking threaten us, fuck. You want Trevor to come to your house and obliterate your body with rock music, stealthily, while you sleep? This will fucking hurt, and you will fucking die slow, then fastly. Your band sucks, and we have the power to say that shit, because we're invincible like the KISS ARMY. On the regular, we have our fans doing frenzied tribal dances where they peel their skins off while listening to our music and tunes....and that is a good experience. Imagine what we can do if we're pissed off. At the end of Indiana Jones & The Temple Of Doom, all the nazis and that weird French and German guy open up the ARC, and get fucking destroyed by power. You should rent that movie and see what happens in that scene, because that is what would happen to your and your fuckwad slab ban buddies if you have a fight with The Setbacks. Fuck you very much...