The Setbacks

What Would the Setbacks Do?

Many, Many Souls Saved Since 2002

Here's where we, the Setbacks, get a chance to answer your questions and give general advice on anything you'd like to ask us.

Email questions to advice[at]thesetbacks.com

Trevor	Ross, I can sympathize with you. The guilt associated with taking the life of another living entity can be great, and often not easy to reconcile with internally. The only way for you to get over this feeling, which can ultimately cause your death, is to squish it down into a little ball and swallow it. By supressing your guilt (this also works for anything from murederous rage to self depreciating shame) you are ridding yourself of it forever. I've been doing this for as long as I can remember and the only real effect it has on my life is the inability to sleep, loss of hair, ever shrinking testicles, bacne, and nervous twitches. Then again, these symptoms could also stem from the horse steroids I've been taking in order to become huge. If you want some I met this guy outside of the gym who sells them. You know they're good because he sells them from his parent's mini van - very clean and safe.
Steve	Normally I'd say that the killing of an innocent creature - regardless of whether it failed to meet the conditions required to live that you imposed on it - is a heinous crime. I say "normally" because I don't consider any ants to be innocent, or even creatures for that matter. Ants represent the devil and deserve to be exterminated off the face of the earth forever! Name one good thing any ant anywhere has ever done since the dawn of time. That's right, you can't. But, if you said: "Saving those kids in 'Honey I Shrunk the Kids' starring the hilariously delightful Rick Moranis" I'd probably respond with: "Nice try my friend but that was a movie and doesn't reflect how REAL ants act." Case closed.
Paul	Awaiting wisdom...
Chris	Hi Ross, I'm assuming that this is Ross from CMTM....Hi Ross. I have been in similar situations...ones where you determine what will happen next, whether people live, or whether they die. One day when hanging at Steve's house...I had to take a giant crap. I went to check out the toilet bowl, and as I peered into the bowl, and observed the odd "reverso" wording on the rim's edge, I saw a man in the bowl, face up. This man was the previous tenant of the apartment. He asked me for help. I asked him why. He said because he was stuck there, and no one looks into the toilet bowl before they take craps and poops and pees. I asked him how he got stuck in there, and he claimed that he had a fight with his girlfriend. I made him a deal. If I closed the lid, and opened it after 5 seconds, and he was still there, I was going to have chocolate waterfalls on him. If he managed to climb out, then I was willing to shake his hand and maybe be his friend. I closed the lid, and after five seconds, lifted the porcelain in anticipation. He was still there, only infuriated. I reminded him of the particulars of our deal, and he told me to f-off. I undid my pants, picked up my Archie Double Digest, and essentially re-enacted the entire Alexisonfire album fecally. This,...ahem...was after a heaping series of plates of delicious indian food from one of Ottawa's best indian buffets. Funny enough, I met him again at an IBS weekend. He was not very friendly.

Trevor	The thing to keep in mind is that it is a secret ballot. You don't have to tell anyone how you voted. That's the bottom line. Vote how you want, hopefully based on sound research, and feel good about your own personal decision. One thing you should know about voting though (since this is your first time) is how to use the voting booth. Here are some handy tips that I wish someone had told me: 1. When entering the voting booth, always remove your shoes and put on the insulated, rubber soled voting slippers. 2. Make sure you aren't carrying anything that can conduct electricity, because doing so can permanently damage the booth and cause certain death for you. 3. Attach the voting electrodes to your head (not your genitals) and think hard about the decision you are about to make. Don't mess this up and think about sex, because the government stores all the data, and if the Conservatives get power, they will abuse this information. 4. You MUST remove the electrodes one at a time, failure to do so can cause permanent brain damage. Now you know all you need to know to vote. Now get out there and DO IT! It's completely absoludicrous the amount of people who don't actually vote.
Steve	Jen, as a service to you and other young voters in Canada I'm going to give you a quick rundown of your options: Liberal Party These guys are currently in power and have been for the last 10 years. They're scandalous villians and you shouldn't turn your back on them for a second. Conservative Party This is the newly formed party from the merger of the Reform and Progressive Conservative parties. They decided to drop the "progressive"-ness, which was a bad move in my books. Being progressive is a good thing, so these guys are out too. NDP These guys are socialists, but they're sort of the lesser of three evils out of the major parties. NDP leader Jack Layton has a moustache, which is cool and macho - two important qualities of a prime minister. Green Party They're never going to win shit, but for young people like us they're the only ones that seem to make any sense. A vote for them is sort of like throwing your vote in the garbage, but it's also taking a vote away from one of the other crappy alternatives. ...and there's a bunch of other parties that suck so bad even the dudes in the Green Party laugh at them, so don't even bother voting for them.
Paul	Awaiting wisdom...
Chris	Man Jen, you are in a seriously ga....er...ahem.....I mean...difficult position. Tell your parents to chill out, and be nice. Generally I think politics is pretty ga....ARGHHH.....dumb. Whatever you do, do not vote NDP. They are extremely ga....DAMN!....I mean....different. They tend to align themselves with socialist views. If you like Birkenstocks and Trail Mix...then vote away. The conservatives are also very ga....I'm sorry...different. They are all from West Coast Canada, no matter what anyone says. They are not in favor of ga....ARGHHHHHH!!!!.....same sex marriage generally, although the party is kind of flip floppy on the issue. The liberals are another party, but them seem to be getting eclipsed by Dalton McStinky's ga.....apologies....bad budget that he screwed everyone over on in getting elected. actually your parents are assholes. but you should research the party's platforms fully, take the bad with the good, and vote.

Trevor	My old nemesis! I should not be surprised by your return, for you were not as easy to vanquish as most of my enemies. However you still have much to learn in the way of the rock. Lesson #1: there is no such thing as Molson 50. I cried when I read that. Tears of sadness. You see by allowing you to live, my hope was to have you return as a stronger, rock and rollinger foe. One that perhaps could become my protege. For I have much wisdom to impart, but fear my days are numbered. Lesson #2: even though you have riffs, fingers, and hair, and have asked for amplification, you still need accesories like a guitar strap and a pick. You may use my amplification, and you may take my place, but to complete your quest in life, you need to turn inwards and reflect on the well being of your soul. Only then will you acheive greatness which will rival mine. Also, make sure Trodvor runs on LABATT 50 next time!
Steve	I won't point out the obvious disrepect towards our sacred LABATT 50 ale, which in itself is an unforgiveable offense, I will instead look past your young innocence and impart these words of wisdom: My friend works at Blockbuster. He recommends movies to motherfuckers. Godspeed, Trodvor.
Paul	Trodvor, you have large shoes to fill. Are you able to fill every song you play with an almost excessive amount of guitary "wankery"? Are you able to strut your stuff on stage with the appropriate rock molded facial expressions? Are you able to sweat large enough quantities to create interesting "ink blot" type designs on your shirt? And finally, are you able to consume an inhuman amount of beer and still remain standing? If you can answer yes to these..... then you, my friend, are ready.
Chris	Matsunaga...you play a rendition of some Ottmar Liebert crap or anything like "Turn, Turn, Turn" by The Byrds...and you die a ninja death. heed my words ninja scroll.

Trevor	Phil, Don't sell yourself short, just because you can't play an instrument doesn't mean you cannot fulfill your dream of being in our band. It didn't stop any of us! As for your specific suggestions for the album title all I can say is THEY ARE ALL FANTABULOUS! I especially like My Life Like That. I picture a lonely bike on its side in a tunnel... magical! However, for the upcoming album we are going to totally sell out and offer up space on our album cover for advertising. We've begun preliminary talks with KFC, NAPA Auto Parts, and Sugar and Spice Health Food. If you own company and are looking for new, creative ways to acheive better brand recognition with the male 19 to 35 market, contact our advertising salesman Les Nessman at 1-800-MUSIC-AD.
Steve	Philip, these are all stellar suggestions but I think we're going to go with our gut instinct on this one, and call the new EP "Gut Instinct". The lead off track is "Kidney Fool", followed by a few spleen rippin' tracks and the we close it off with our seminal fan favourite "Liver Love". You got a fever? We got the presciption. Golden.
Paul	Awaiting wisdom...
Chris	these are the stupidest names I've ever heard of. Screw you for submitting these, ass.

Trevor	I'm not sure if your question is related to dumping the whole body or just the rotting flesh smell. If it's about dumping the body: don't be such a pansy and dismember the corpse already! That will make hiding it easier. If your question is only cosmetic (ie: smell removal) I suggest watching the show Family Plots on A&E. It's a reality show based in a funeral home. It's filled with all sorts of tips on how to make a dead person look presentable for family members, even if the person died in a bad accident and was disfigured! You're bound to pick up a couple of pointers on that show. Good luck with this, and if you can get through it I know your girlfriend and you will live long happy lives together based on trust and honesty.
Steve	Awaiting wisdom...
Paul	Ok, first of all you have to pass the blame onto someone else. I suggest that you bring grandma over to your girlfriends house. Before you go inside tie grandma's leg to yours and wrap you arm around her. When you get inside the house all you need to do is fake one little gesture from grandma, say that grandma looks tired, and lie her down in the spare bedroom. Stick around for a little bit but then fake an illness or an uncle to pick up at the airport and get out of there. Long story short, they will all think she died in her sleep. Granny is out of your car, no more smell, and you still have the girl.
Chris	Mr. Butterballs, Do you have a Mazda 3? That is a nice car! Grandparents are awesome. My grandfather has a tendency to fall asleep at chinese buffets, in between heaping plates of food. Crazy times, eh?

Trevor	Here's a quick test to see if you are indeed Steve's child and can't afford a DNA test. I know those medical/genetic tests are hard to do on a 10 year old's budget. 1. Go to a mirror 2. Check for ugliness 3. If you are ugly, you likely belong to Steve. If you have any redeeming physical attributes, you have no relation to this guy. I for one wouldn't be surprised, as Steve has spread his seed all over the Ottawa Valley, from Calabogie to Hawkesbury.
	'Ello Sherry, Steve Palmer from stevepalmer.com here, writing from jolly ol' England! I'm a travelling wholesale condiments salesman, and I reckon I just may have been in Perth during the period in question. If ye get the results of a DNA test, mail 'em to me, lassie! Cheerio and all the rest,
Paul	Well Sherry, I've been to Perth a couple times. By the fact that you understood how to write and email, that already crosses you off the list of being related to even the smartest that Perth has to offer.
Chris	HAHAHAHA Steve....you're screwed. Let me be the godfather. Trev.....speaking of spraying your seed. Your are the equivalent of Chemlawn when it comes to that stuff you fatherly bastard. HAHAHAHA

Trevor	Franky, I understand what you are saying, despite your think accent. I can appreciate that you came to us as well. That being said, I read something more through your poor english. Something lurking below your poor grammar. Something that even someone with the most basic English skills wouldn't show. I think you may be a bit touched in the head. I envision you writing this email in a room decorated mostly with owls. Even your screen saver and computer desktop feature owls. I imagine your room mate entering the room to return your Jean Leloup single for the song Mille neuf cent quatre vignt neuf, only to find you perched on the head of your bed (in the dark of course), hooting. Then in an attempt to turn your head all the way around you fall off because your toes are most definitely not talons. Despite your best efforts to grow your nails and shape them properly, you just can't get the same grip as your nocturnal friends. Your roommate leaves, and spends the rest of the lease avoiding you, which is easy since you sleep all day. You may want to seek help for this problem. The Royal Ottawa hospital treats people on an out patient basis, and many of them get the help they need to function in society.
Steve	Awaiting wisdom...
Paul	Awaiting wisdom...
Chris	You are a serious french bastard.

Trevor	I hesitate to tell you we could give you a makeover. While I would love for us to star in a show called "Rock eye for the Pop guy" I'm not sure it'd fly. First off, I know 2 of my bandmates who regularly stay late at their day jobs in order to use the fancy computers to play Unreal, and just last night I overheard them discussing the fact that the Sniper Rifle was brought back for Unreal 2004. They seemed excited. This will not help you get with the ladies. So don't assume we're such a hit with the women. I am still a virgin. My wife is pregnant, but now that I think of it, we still haven't finalized the deal, if you catch my drift... hmmm, sounds like I might have some bigger problems than you. So you see, I don't have time to come over and pop your zits and destroy your GAP hoodies. I need to find out if my child is the second coming of Christ, here to save our souls from Mel Gibson. (lightning will now strike me down)
Steve	Hi man - sounds like you haven't exactly been able to connect with the chicks on the phone of life so you've dialed '0' for assistance and let me tell you buddy - I'm here to answer the call. I have lots of girlfriends and I'd be willing to share some of them with you or give you tips to help you get your own. First off dude, you are way beyond needing a makeover. I think you need to ditch your current body and get a new one. Like Neo plugging into the Matrix, see if you can find a way to plug into a computer and create an artificial version of yourself in a robot-controlled world. That way your brain would stay intact, so you'd still be Mike, but you'd have a body that was way better... think about it: no acne, normal height, and less baldness. If you can program it, you can have it. Bottom line Mike, bone up on your computer and programming skills until you've come up with something. Don't leave your parent's basement until you find the answer. Golden.
Paul	OK, a Simple Plan makeover!! How exciting. Now since you are a little short in the hair area you will have to be the guitarist guy who shaves his head. Sure nobody knows his name but I'm sure he is popular with the lead singer "throw-aways". I think he has a soul patch. Those are very "in" these days. If you can't grow one of these just pencil one in. Next is the brand new vintage t-shirt. Get one of these pre-faded jewels that has some subtle sexual innuendo phrase like Jim's Cock Farm. The girls will think you are so retro (which is also in....). Tight pants, skate shoes, heavy french accent, and you'll be ready to trade your Magic Card of Solitude for The Sword of Hymen. Good Luck.
Chris	First off, I am one of the NERDS that plays UNREAL at my office until 8 at night. Let's get that out of the way...The sniper rife is an excellent weapon, and I often enjoy using it. No regrets. I think a makeover is a healthy thing. If you and your buds play Majic The Gathering "or" know an abundance of information about Tolkien and his characters "or" wear GAP hoodies, chances are you fucking really need one. I would be willing to take you to the Rideau Center where we can visit Kernels and enjoy some popcorn as we hit every hip store with some chill out jazz dance CD playing. After that, we can visit a dermatologist, and then we can work on your personality by getting you playing an instrument. This is one option. The other option is that you pay for sexual intercourse. Get your beans off, and maybe that will help with your female problems. Dude, you are old and need lays more than Mark Messier. Exploring this option also gets you a massage, and you can check out some immediate ladies.

Trevor	Sherman, I truly believe anywhere can be as fun as you make it. No matter what backwater burg you live in, there will be SOMETHING to do. Ottawa is a city of about 1 million people. Even if 1% of the population aren't the "bed by 10" government workers, thats 10 000 people looking for a good time. If you can't find fun with 10 000 people, maybe your interests are too weird. This reminds me of the co op placement I did in grade 10. I was REALLY into boxes at the time, so I took a job at a box factory outside of Deep River. Little did I know that box factories are completely automated, so I ended up being the only person in the place for 3 months. I had to live and eat there. You might think I would have gotten bored... NO SIR! Not this kid. I created 13 friends out of things around the factory (14 before Molly Mop became so stinky I had to throw her out). We even made a band and released a half dozen records made out of boxes, and we played them on box record players, and lived in box houses with box oven and box tvs. Oh what a glorious time! Bottom line is if I can survive in a box factory, you can do Ottawa. Plus we have museume here! HOORAY MUSEUMS! MUSEUMS!
Steve	Well Sherman - you certainly have us pegged. In fact, you couldn't be more on the money on this one. Being the capital of Canada and the homebase of the prime minister, everybody in Ottawa works for the government. There aren't any employers, companies or businesses in Ottawa other than the feds. All us Joe Punchclocks work our 8am-3pm and go home and watch reruns of the day's House of Commons processions on CPAC (that's Canada's Political Channel). It's a hell of a life here in Ottawa - I'm not sure if you're up to it Sherman.
Paul	If you are only here for four months you will be plenty busy. There is at least four months of "touristy" type stuff to do. Since I havn't really done much of that lately (since I've lived here all my life..... and I'm still not bored) so I will recommend some good places to check out. When I am in the mood for some great urban discussions where one is not judged by there appearance but there way of expressing themselves I head to Inferno or The Bulldog. When I am looking for the newest trends in music and style I always head to The Cabin or On Tap. Looking for a place that will remind you of home, head to Maxwell's. Hopefully, we will bump into each other this summer!
Chris	Guy, Are you dissing our city? Ottawa is mad crazy fun in the summer and all year round, dude. What other place can you go into a bar, and not be able to smoke? What other place has malls that are located about 6000 km away from each other? What other place has a city wide transportation service that employs career criminals? In Ottawa, I'll have you know, you can go to Mooney's Bay, and watch the dead corpses float in the water, while obese women saunter around in thongs and no tops! Know why? Because you don't have to wear a top in the summer! You wanna let those flap pouches free, no problem. Unfortunately, all the female trolls seem to practice this. In other news, we have a killer folk festival, and have the most shawarma shoppes in one city per capita than any other place on earth! Other tidbits of Ottawa fun.....teenage hooligans who regualate our suburban neighbourhoods! Ottawa has a fantastic sensational phenomenon called "swarming" that is commonplace here. Think again Ottawa is boring!

Trevor	This doesn't sound like an advice question, but I'll answer it none the less. I'm not as much of a gear head as most musicians, but here's a rundown of what I use live: Guitar - Epiphone Les Paul Custom Amplifier - Traynor Speaker Cabinet - Crate 4x12" Effects "Rack" - Boss Blues Driver for drive, and a Fuzz Box for lead As for things I like, and listen to, that can vary a lot. Recently I've been listening to a lot of roots rock kind of stuff. From Neil Young to Cracker to Uncle Tupelo, Son Volt, earlier Wilco, Matt Mays, Joel Plaskett, the Sadies, Blue Rodeo. I also still enjoy listening to all the late 90's bands like the Promise Ring and the Get Up Kids, as well as newer guys like Moneen. I also enjoy holding hands with girls, grass between my toes, and pancakes with chocolate chips in them.
Steve	Hey Tim. My two guitars are a '77 Gibson RD Custom (all original, with the preamp torn out) and a '67 Fender Mustang (with new pickups and hardware). I play through a Peavey Bandit 112 with a 112sx cabinet for extra volume, but the thing hisses like a banshee so I'm probably going to replace it soon with something that gives me a little more kick... like a Marshall combo. I use the DOD Juice Box for extra boost during lead work. Influences? Nowadays I'm obsessed with Liam Watson's Toerag studio in London... Billy Childlish's stuff (Thee Headcoats, The Buff Medways), Holly Golightly's new record, White Stripes' Elephant and a band Liam was in himself called the Bristols that I picked up in the discount bin at a record store in London. It's an 8-track studio with no gear newer than 1967- true to the killer sounds of all the great Beatles and Stones albums. I also listen to a lot of Motown these days... especially a five record box set marking the 10 year anniversary of Motown. Golden.
Paul	I'm really enjoying the setup that I have right now. I have a Traynor head running a Ampeg SVT 4x10 cabinet. The Traynor head gives it a nice warm sound for a really low grumble. I play a Fender Jazzmaster through all of this. It is a huge, heavy chunk of solid wood but is fun to play. A problem that I have been running into is that I have been snaping a lot of bass strings (hard to believe but I'm on my 4th or 5th set) so the last couple of sets have been GHS Bass Boomers. The big gauge are killer on the fingers but they sound good and last a bit longer. As for what I listen to and influenced by, I'm all over the place. I think my tastes in music are a bit heavier then the other guys in the band. Lately I've been listening to a lot of Glassjaw, Queens of the Stone Age, The Used, The Constantines, The Tangiers, Alexisonfire, and Brand New. The only thing better then listening to music is live shows. I like to take in as many as I can. Nothing will ever replace a good live show...... GIMME SOME KICKS.
Chris	Serious question, serious answer: My live setup is a premier XPK birch kit, with a 20 inch bass drum, 14 inch rack tom, stock snare, and a 16 inch floor tom that is a Pearl export series free standing model. It does the trick, as I hocked my old floating floor tom for morning after pills for one of our groupies after a show one night. I play with a set of 4 quarter 14" hats on Premier hardware, use a 16" Sabian AAX Studio Crash, and a 20" Sabian AA Rock Ride with a full bodied bell. I also use stock Pro-mark 7A or Vater Josh Freese American 5B sticks, which I tried a few times and liked. As for drumming influences...the iconic Josh Freese is a fave...as is Matt Cameron, Dave Grohl, Steve-O from Sum ( who in his defense has a great sense of attack style drumming), Jay Jay Johansen, Jack Irons, Dave Abruzzese, and Eric Kretz. I've always been a fan of rock drummers, but solid ones, that do cool things within the context of straight ahead rock song that don't turn it into a drum tune. I also like Stewart Copeland and Terry Bozzio...but only because he pulled off Zappa's "The Black Page"....which if you don't know what that is, once you find out, you'll realize. Tip. Smoke a giant joint, and listen to terry Bozzio do that song...INSANE. Right now I've been listening to a lot of KISS, old Incubus, and some Brian Blade Orchestra...who is an incredible drummer as well....