What Would the Setbacks Do?

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I'm freaking about this girl I'm dating...

December 6th, 2002

Butch writes:

Hey guys,

I've been chilling out with a girl named Ashley for about three weeks, and she's so not like any other chick I've ever hung out with. I'm pretty sure that she digs me, as I've been getting the vibes, but there has been a lack of physical confirmation concerning this. This is making me nuts, because I have no balls to be any more forward than I already have..(I made a move when we had a few too many, and she didn't really respond, yet she also didn't really not do anything either....hmmm...). I'm finding that this is making spending time with her very difficult, as I am really beginning to like her...I think even love her. Yes the L word! WHOA.

Trevor	I'm going to give you my standard advice when dealing with girls: do not do anything. Just let the ladies come to you. Of course you may want to make sure you are as attractive as I am before trying this.
Steve	That's a tough one Butch, I don't envy you. I would say just back off a bit and give things some time. If you go too fast and botch things up, you probably won't get another chance to make things right...so take it slow. I know you don't want to grind things to a halt so that she loses interest, but maybe just tone it down a bit...try putting ice in your shorts before you spend time with her, that way you won't have any unpure thoughts. You probably won't have any thoughts at all, other than how cold your gonads are! YOUCH!
Paul	Short and simple answer: Shit or get off the pot. Obviously things aren't good how they are. Either bring things to the next level or move on to something new. It is not worth while to sit pining away for something that will never happen. This doesn't mean that you can't be friends with this person but you have to move on with your life.
Chris	I'm sure that this was either Trev or Steve... Whoa dude. I so feel you. I'm convinced that every guy has gone thru at least one of these.... It's called and ALF. Advanced. Level. Freindship. Bottom line. If you're not getting the vibes that she's into you, then back the hell off. One thing that is a sure fire romance extinguisher is bugging her about the status of your situation, both obviously and obliviously..(I.E. Constantly asking if you're a couple, and/or dropping hints). If you've made some genuine efforts to let her know how you feel with some good grade moves, and she still hasn't responded, then decide what is best for you. As mentioned, I'm convinced that every guy has gone thru this...but you will probably have to learn the hard way to avoid a friendship with someone who you're digging... Heed these three rules my main man... 1. If you like a member of the opposite sex, be friendly, get to know them any way you can. This will make getting a vibe easier for you. Even the sharpest hint of desperation/anxiousness can come through in your attitude, so regulate your hormones as best you can. 2. Don't hang around/persist if you get the vibe that someone doesn't dig you. It will eat away at your self esteem. Instead rent GHOST, get a bag of Smartfood, and chill. 3. DO NOT AT ALL COSTS GET INVOLVED IN AN A.L.F. with someone that you like. First of all, if you love her at this stage, you're a sausage and a half. Take it the hell easy. You're most likely to hook up when you're not looking for it. Your letter is indicative that you're a lonely bastard, and that you're probably scaring women away. I'm imagining my sister dating you, and a single tear is trailing down my face. Free Advice! You're welcome. love c.diddy P.S. There is also the flip side to these situations, which I'm also convinced that every guy goes thru as well, which is when you really like someone, and apparently don't do enough to let them know short of saying directly to their face. This is always brought to your attention in some awkward moment, where you feel like a jerk off. If you need some more direct examples of what I'm talking about, then rent "My Best Friend's Wedding".

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