What Would the Setbacks Do?

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How do I handle this delicate situation?

January 27th, 2009

Gregmilion Lissten writes:

Hey guys,

I guess you're a band or something? I Googled "thoughtful, sensitive and objective advice for free" and this page came up top of the list. Seems kind of quiet these days but from the looks of it you know your stuff. So here goes...

I run a small landscaping company called "Leaves 'B' Gone" in North Gower. We started up in the Spring and immediately we were booked solid. Business was booming in the Summer with our $29.95 tree pruning special. Then in the Fall we raked and bagged a record number of leaves from our customers' yards. I was on top of the world in October. Then the snow hit and that world quickly came crashing down. Our customers aren't calling us to deal with their leaves and I'm in the unfortunate position of having to lay off our entire staff of 5 "leaf artists".

How do I handle this delicate situation with tact and sensitivity?

Also, do you guys need any landscaping services? We have a "de-leaf my life" special running right now for $14.95. We'll hit the yards, gutters and wax the eaves troughs to prevent future leaf build-up.


Trevor		 Listen LISSTEN!

I once ran a landscaping company as well. It was KC Landscaping and it was not successful. My business partner Matt and I went to Cedarhill, a rich neighbourhood, and put flyers in everyone’s mailbox. After flyering for 3 days we took a rest. We finally got a call a week later, when someone needed some weeding done.

Our flyer advertised free quotes, so I rushed over to give a competitive bid. I couldn’t get a hold of Matt so I was on my own. I quoted $10, as it did not seem like an overly strenuous job. She immediately informed me we were hired, so I went back home to get the gear and notify Matt.

I worked for almost an hour when Matt finally showed up. Together we worked for another 3 hours. The client was nice enough to offer us a can of Coke each when we were done. All told we never covered the cost of the photocopies and our business immediately folded. Matt and I went into hiding to avoid the Business Depot creditors, who were looking for their money (obviously the names in this story have been changed as we are both still in hiding).

Regardless, I think there is an important lesson here for you: hire me on as a business consultant and you will see immediate results, or at the very least some great tips on changing your identity to hide from your leaf artists and creditors.

Steve		 I too have bitten by the entrepreneurial bug.

I've felt it's many hair-covered legs crawl up my thigh and around the underside of my genitalia. I've witnessed it lay several thousand eggs at the base of my scrotum. I've felt the joy of providing those larvae with a warm, moist, and nutrient-rich environment in which to thrive.

I've also felt the pain of losing over three quarters of the unborn creatures to a freak aardvark encounter.

Through my experiences I've learned two things: running a business means checking your emotions at the door sometimes and acting in a logical and rational manner. Secondly, Gold Bond medicated powder can provide you with moderate relief from entrepreneurial itch.

Paul		 At last, a question concerning one of my favorite subjects. You may be saying to yourself, "I didn't know that Paul loved gardening" but you would be wrong. One of my favorite subjects is financial planning. Over the years of running this band I have learned many business lessons. Most of them have been the hard way.

For example, let me tell you about a show we did Perth. At the start of the night things were looking good. This was one of our shows where we were paid no matter what the turnout at the bar. Great. The bar offered us dinner before our set. Awesome. The show went really well. Lots of people were there. We all had a great time. We ended up drinking quite a lot of beer. At the night we got paid by the bar. Super. We also at this time got the bar tab. We got paid $250 but we drank $350 worth of beer. Not cool. We couldn't even cover the gas to get to Perth. This is what the financial community calls "shitty".

My suggestion to you is to not go drinking with Trevor.


Chris		 Gregmilion,

I feel your pain. I inherited a Dairy Queen franchise from my great uncle in the summer of 2004. I was on top of the world. I mean, who wouldn't be... I gained 15 lbs and was having the time of my life eating Dilly Bars, Peanut Buster Parfaits, and the cheesecake crumbs they put in Blizzards. Life was good. Too damn good I tell you. I had hired 40 employees, paid them all $14.95 an hour, and they all worked at the same time. I did some fancy tweaking of my prices too. I was selling everything and anything for 2 bucks. Let's put it this way. At any given point, you could see a mile long line of customers at the location, eagerly waiting for 2 dollar anything at MY Dairy Queen. Business was brisk. I was the market leader in sales for all Dairy Queens in Canada, and I also conveniently had the most employees of any location in North America because things were going so well. My employees were ecstatic. Two of them, not even 20 year old, were able to buy BMWs. They all loved me....customers and employees alike. I considered running for mayor.

Then something happened. The weather changed, and small frozen particles of water began falling from the sky. The wind grew strong and cold. White frozen powdery stuff started covering the streets, and it became night time at 5:00 p.m. I talked to the city about this, and they gave me no useful information. Suddenly, wicked fucking awesome frozen treats became not as popular as a result of people needing to wear "coats" and "sweater". My business evaporated in an INSTANT! I even tried running a special, where for 5 bucks you got 60 dipped cones. I made some of the employees eat them on the corner, in an effort to entice people to buy soft serve.....all to no avail.

The answer to your question:

I laid off my employees gracefully. I explained to them that the business was a victim of an unprecedented natural phenomenon, which was what I was convinced was the end of the world. I explained my views to them, and gave them all $5000 severance packages. I am all about employee respect and having dignity. No one knows how hard it is to twist the cones and make a banana split. It's just as hard as driving a bus.

Needless to say, my business was closed, and I am currently dealing with a $675,000 personal debt. Once I climb out of this hole...I am considering a restaurant business of just piping hot soups.

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