What Would the Setbacks Do?
Email questions to advice[at]thesetbacks.com
Need a Man
September 21st, 2004
Sarah writes:
Dear The Setbacks:
My boyfriend is moving away to, let's say Iqualuit, and therefore will not be able to attend a wedding function with me. Do you know of anywhere where you can purchase a guy to attend functions with you? I was considering ordering a build-a-boy kit, but am not very handy with tools. Please help!
 Trevor |
First off I'd like to apologize for my bandmates' answers. It's so easy to just assume every question is about sex. So I am going to assume you are looking for an escort of sorts, just someone to go to the wedding with, since the love of your life is just moving, not disappearing forever.
The easiest way to find a dude who won't cost an arm and a leg is to go trolling downtown for a homeless guy. Offer a shave, shower, and a meal and he'll go with you for sure. Try to stay away from dudes who are talking to themselves, or screamers. The good ones are the ones with dogs. Another option: Chris is Italian, and Italians love weddings. Take him! |
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 Steve |
This question reminds of that sleeper box office hit "My Big Fat Greek Wedding". Sure, I've never seen the movie but I think that we can all learn something from it. It doesn't matter if you're big, fat or Greek - anybody can find true love and get married. I'm sure you'll find somebody who accepts you for who you are and doesn't treat you any differntly because of your rich Mediterranean heritage.
Oh yeah, how were the Olympics? |
 Paul |
Have you ever been to a wedding?!? This is one of the best places to get some tail. Everyone, guys and girls, are looking to score. Weddings have that effect on people. All the single people see how happy the married couple is and, just for that night, will do anything or anyone to feel that happy. Emotions are running high and there is usually tons of alcohol going around.
My suggestion is to bring someone that knows that you will be ditching them if you find someone else very hot. |
 Chris |
Well. I suggest you check out the Adult Super Fun Store on Rideau Street. I very unwisely went in there on the weekend, looking for some movie, which I am assuming went straight to video, called Soccer Boy or Soccer Boys, or something or rather...whatever. Anyways. Bottom line. I think I saw something in there that might be what you were looking for. I believe it was manufactured by Awesome Good Toys, and it had a MSRP of about $299.99. It looked really cool. It even came with some tools that you could use "after" the wedding, back in the hotel room, when you begin playing some Luba and prancing around in your Joe Boxers. Good Times, Awesome Times.
P.S. I just read Paul's answer, and man....that is super true about the wedding thing. |
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